That's kinda addiction...

Happiness and Suffering - are kinda in pair and also kinda addiction, until you achieve control over it. Something makes me happy, Let me do that again. Somethings make me sad, why do they happen and why do I get affected by that sadness. So many why's!!

For example, Talking with this person makes me happy, his presence around makes me feel comfortable, if he calls I feel good, but on the other hand, without that person I feel lonely, sad or rather frustrated. (I think 'Frustrated' was more appropriate word :) ) Frustration is caused because your expectations are not met. Every expectation that doesn't get fulfilled, you suffer each moment because of that.

Well, I say.. there is no harm in doing something again & again which can make you happy. But what about the addition your mind develops towards suffering?

Heard about some people going through some similar emotions. Felt pity on them. Hmm 'Pity', because People do not identify their own capacity of handling themselves for being dragged away. First being out of control and hence having no control.

However Some time back, I also observed it within myself - how I get dragged away with sad emotions. If something, some song, some event makes me sad, I 'want' to feel that sadness. My mind controls me to go through such suffering. In fact, I also observed that if some set of friends are around, who can truly become my emotional support, I used to remain sad with them.

Note here that I did not get sad because of 'friends' company' but read further you will know what I mean.

I knew that with them I can talk about things which makes me sad. And trust me, your mind's sad(active) part requires food and by talking about same set of dissatisfaction in life, sadness, problems - you are doing nothing good to yourself but rather growing/maturing the 'sad' part of your mind.

Every observation is meant to improve something in you. I think For me, I am consicous about how mind reacts to particular events and makes my body feel that suffering. I know I am trying to overcome the 'out of control/no control' situation and I am sure I am progressing. Staying in the 'now' has helped me a lot.

To people who may experience suffering due to expectations/no acknowledgement or who can identify that they are really addicted to the 'suffering' - I would tell -'Help yourself, Control yourself and be Alert to your mind's reactions'.

~KrupA