KISS

u are certainly misled by the title... right? KISS is a wonderful lesson that I have learned from my client boss. He uses phrase 'KISS it' for any problem at work i.e Keep It Simple Stupid!

So many things in our day to day lives, so many relations and what not in our daily working life, we complicate things very much. "If I don't call her, she will feel bad", "If I say this, will he understand me correctly?" "Why is this program behaving like this?" etc. Due to this habit, now, even if a simple puzzle comes up to do a multiplcation of 26 and 7, we will need calculator. (I just used in my laptop)

Can we not live simple? Can we not live with simple fundas like "Live Good, Be Good and Retain Peace!" ?

~Krupa

The Why's of life ~

It is not new that things happen beyond my imagination,beyond my expectation. It happens again and again. I wonder 'why'. I question to life to get no answer.

When I came back to India, I joined my office and this time I got a responsibility of a project manager. With some doubts and questions I started performing gradually. Luckily, timing is good and project has grown during this period. So all was going well.

I realized that project management has a big component of people management, taking care of everyone's emotional reaction and then end of the day make sure the work is done. But what is the earning in this? Earning is the respect that you get from the same people whose emotional reaction you are handling. I guess my income has slowed down in this project. I asked my life "why" for this and of course, I have no answer.

At personal level also, few things have happened in the recent past and I kept questioning 'why!'.

When I get so many why's, I wonder - Do we really get answer for these 'Why's' ? I don't think so. Only thing happens is that our memory gets overwritten by something else and then we move on!

~KrupA

Re-Connect -- Possible?!

Girish wrote here about his project "Re-connect" and I was thinking about something similar. I log in to my gmail account almost everyday and I see so many people online. These people are not just anyone, they are my friends. I see them in 'green' status in gtalk but still I don't send them any message nor they do send me any message. Messaging happens just once in a while.

I feel we are not missing any technology in staying connected with our friends, but we are missing that zeal from within to stay connected with friends.

However I also feel that life is a continuously changing dream and hence when we move on, we get new people and we update ourselves with new relationships, new learnings, new fun ideas and lot more.

I love all my friends and I have thoroughly enjoyed my life so far with each one of them. But the truth remains is that when we move on, we may lose the contact and that should be acceptable to us. It is acceptable to me.

So concluding my thoughts -- I think "Re-connect" is possible only if individuals feel something from within. Until that happens, all messengers and social networks will behave as a bank account with lots of checks and but no cash!

Krupa

Mirage, Fear etc

I have been thinking about this word for some time now. Anytime I see the mirage on road I remember to express the perception about this word. Dictionary meaning says - Mirage is something illusory, without substance or reality. When something does not exist but gives an impression of its existence, that's called mirage. Many times on the roads or in desert, you will find some illusion of water from distance and when you get closer, you will find the truth that nothing exist there.

Similarly, Fear of unknown is also a mirage. It is there because we are imagining it. Worry about things that are not in our control is like mirage too. We think about so many possibilities and then with all the flow logic of "If-Else" "What-If", we achieve nothing. After so much waste of energy we will realize it's only a mirage; something that does not exist.

I meet so many people, my family, my friends/colleagues. I see how mirage exist in their lives as well. Because of this mirage effect only, they miss the present, they repent for past and they worry for future. well... What to do!! 

Lot of minor changes happening in my life and I can see things flowing. Best part is that no matter what, life is treating me really well. In all directions, all people are helpful and blessing me with a lovely smile. The Mirage shows up sometimes in my life as well, but it fades away soon too. Thankfully I am able to unclutch from it very easily now!!! (Thanks to Swamiji!)

By the way I am back in India and now working from Mumbai. So I am saved from the cold of US. In India also it's cold right now, but not too bad, it's certainly within my tolerance limits. :-)

Wishing a very happy 2010 to all who read my blog post accidently or intentionally.. ha ha.. :)

Blissfully enjoying...

~ Krupa ~

Love, Expectation and Hope...

Love, Expectation and Hope... how easily we have mixed these words and their meanings.

But this is how I want to express, this is how I perceive these words today ~

• To Love is like expanding in everything we do without any conflict
• To expect is to restrict/limit the 'possbile' and to deny the existence.
• To hope is to accept the existence and keep the doors open for love and expansion.

When you contemplate on above expressions, what are your thoughts?

~Krupa

Hope or Expectation ~ Are you clear about your emotion?

Neha and I were discussing something. As usual, we were arguing for our points and none of us wanted to give up. ;-) But then she made an interesting statement that is still on my mind. "Hope is a beautiful emotion, don't ever mix hope with Expectation".

It happens. Many times we hope for something to happen, but then we end up suffering. Why? Because we put condition that the hope should become reality. The moment you put a condition on your Hope - it becomes expectation.

In the Bollywood movie 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge" - there was a dialog - "सपने देखो! बस उनके पूरे होने की शर्त मत रखो!" =>"Dream anything, but don't put conditions that it must get fulfilled."
True! :-)

So Neha - You were right, I think I was suffering from expectation and I was naming it as hope! Thanks!

~Krupa

Stay Calm

I went on vacation and no one is even looking at my blog.. huh!!

well, that's expected though :) no worries.

After spending a lot of time away from this place, naturally, many things have changed and I am noticing them. The approach of people, my own approach, my reactions and what not!!

During one of the meditation Program session, I had learned one amazing thing - 'Use of Positive words'. For example, instead of saying "I am not doing bad", say "I am doing good". Instead of scolding a kid for eating bad food, inspire him to eat healthy food by saying "If you eat this, you will be healthy and smart!". But As a matter of fact, I found the usage of negative words more than positive around.

Couple of days I tried to implement that lesson to use positive words and then I could see my self also losing temper at small things, shouting and not really listening to anyone. It's frustrating. Not the circumstances, but I find it frustrating since I can literally watch myself failing on my all learned lessons thus far.

It's very important when we stay calm, we can approach things wisely. Otherwise no point! We end up with mistakes and anger and frustration... :(

So Today's lesson is "Stay Calm!" :)

Keep in touch..
Krupa

Packaging ~ Is that the name?

I have been taking many medicines over the last 10-15 days. Also, was taking some instant-mix for soups. Well, I thought of something and found it interesting.

Every such thing that we buy, has the user-instructions. How to prepare or how much to take and how to cook or when to stop etc. Isn't that an interesting area of industry where people work to find the language and words to be most user-friendly and which conveys the exact meaning?

You take any item, starting food to electronics, you will find the instructions manual which is well versed in multiple languages (generally).

Alright, I know this is not something new. You already may be knowing it. But I wanted to say that it is that part of an industry which does not have name like software industry, hardware industry, manufacturing, interior decoration, construction etc (May be 'packaging' is the name for it, may be I only do not know it!)

Yenyways... how's life? :-)

(When you find that you are not able to write/talk much then ask a question and the conversation continues... ;-) ha ha...)

Cheers ~KrupA

Just because he took the cake first ~

That's why even the war started!

Cake is a dessert, supposed to be taken in the end. It was all placed nicely on the table along with the rest of the meal. What was the idea? Once we finish lunch, we could have that cake as a dessert.

We were some 6-8 people on one table and one person got the cake along with the food itself, thinking that 'let me reserve my piece of cake'. He felt insecure if the cake is over by the time he finishes the lunch. So far no problem! Now, Seeing him, other person felt insecure too, went and got his piece of cake. Seeing two people on the table reserving the cake for themselves caused insecurity to others too. (However, none of rest of us all went to get the cake at that time.)

Here the point is ~ One person's fear or insecurity contagiously affected the others. This is the reason I see how the war started after all. Huh! One country had power and bought the weapons. That one country just made itself secure by keeping weapons. This caused insecurity to the other and so on...Contagious, you know!!

Just because he took the cake first, just because he felt insecure at first place, others started feeling insecure by seeing his actions for keeping himself secure.

I do not know the solution, I guess that's just the choice that others have to make in such situation.

~KrupA

Our beliefs...

We always have some strong beliefs, don't we? We believe in them as our guiding principle, as our driving principle. And Trust me, it just becomes THE base of our lives.

But did you realize what is important here? Important is to stand strong with that belief in any condition, in any stormy situation of life.

They say, creating a relation takes a while, destroying takes even less, while maintaining takes lot more than you can ever expect. I find 'belief' as a similar thing. It takes a lot to stay firm on our belief.

When you find yourself shaken during some situations, find yourself in a need to be firm about your belief. Feel that you are being tested. Then it's up to you how to handle it to pass through the test.

"Believe in something and then have complete faith in it. It's the best test that we ever go through..."

Nah?!

~KrupA

The 90/10 Principle

Just remembered one article that I had read some day, thought let me share it here.

Stephen Covey has mentioned in the 90/10 Principle --
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

I believe in that principle completely as it is (so) practically proven. If I look back in my life - those major events, then I realize my own attributes, characteristics and learnings are based on/derived from my reactions to those major events and NOT from the events.

Many times, You hear yourself saying - 'since then' my life has changed. I have become this, become that... Those are the same moments that I am talking about.

Let me try if I can give some minor examples ~

When someone had scolded me about something, how did I take it?

• This can show, How open am I for criticism?
• How positively do I take the face-to-face said negative words about me?

At work, when someone got a promotion and I did not. How did I take that entire scenario? Did I try to analyze what was missing in me and improve on it?

• My reaction in such circumstances can give the hint about how different do I think?
• How do I tackle with the misleading negative emotions (Jealousy, Envy..)?
• How calm and controlled am I?
• How do I remain focused towards the right lessons in that situation?

In addition, there are many emotional milestones you face in life where you think that it is changing you from the core. Your beliefs are changing, your priorities are changing. You realize that you mature in those moments.

:) Isn't it true with you too?

!~ KrupA ~!

One more Philosophical idea of mine

I am sure you will agree with me on this one.

It gives you immense pleasure

- When you do something to make someone smile,

- When you put efforts to do something surprising for someone and you find that someone is extremely pleasantly surprised.

There were times when my friends or my family have done something for me and I have felt great about it. But the happiness is multiplied when I do something for someone. Someone who is my Best friend, someone who's really close to my heart.

I think, it is in our nature to make our closed ones happy, To do things which can keep the sadness away from them. Sometimes we forget that and we start expecting others to do something for us. And I have a point there - Don't do something because that person has done something for you, rather do it for what that person is.

Recently, I surprised one of my friends here (who is leaving and chances are less that I get to meet her again) and she was touched by that expression and asked "What have I done so great that I deserve so much affection from you" to which my answer was: "You ARE just awesome person, you don't need to DO anything to deserve something".

Similarly,We should be good and behave good in life with loving attitude and GOD (that powerful positive energy) , someday, will feel like helping us in our good endeavors. We don't need to do something explicitly for Him. We just need to be ourselves.

At the Least, This is My philosophy:

"Be yourself and Be good to one and all, Great things will automatically happen to you! "

~kRUPa

Taking Granted Part - II

I was talking about taking time for granted and losing the time that you have in your hand.

Take this one:
You are bored of doing something, planning something, or even joining others in their plan.
You think it's ok to let go. May be some other time...
Of course, it is a good idea to take a break from routine, from people and spend relax, lazy time, time when you do nothing. Such breaks help in getting you closer to yourself. But if you almost always do the same thing just because you are not enough motivated to do something, then you are losing the time, the opportunity. You may not realize at that time, but after few years or few months, you will repent for the same thing. You'll feel "Oh!! wish, I had done that", "Wish, I had gone there, with them and enjoyed.." You lost that time and Now, today, you are sitting in a chair thinking, repenting for the lost time.

How many times you have sat and talked about the happy and joyous time spent together? How many times you have genuinely cherished the school time, college friends, movies, picnic, tours?

The list can be bigger, if you remove that boredom-block. If you realize that the time you are getting is for a reason then you won't lose it. If you don't take time for granted then you will know the value of time.

The bitter fact is you are going to lose all your friends, family one day (when we have taken birth, we are going to die) - Why are you taking this uncertain life for granted so much and losing the Now? Why?

I am surely sounding like a preacher in last two posts, but do you think I care if you call me a preacher? :-) Well, certainly if you matter to me, I am sure you will take my preaching positively. I trust you.

I might still come up with another part on the same topic, not sure though. But for today, this is it.

Take care and Enjoy!!

kRUPa~

Taking Granted Part - I

Many times we take so many things for granted.

We take our lives for granted. We take time for granted.

We think that we have got enough time to plan and enjoy something which we can do in this present moment.

Did retrospection and I realized, how many moments I lost with this assumption that I still have time to do that. "May be next year.. May be next month.." What was it that was stopping me? My own mind block. Sometimes, there were really practical reasons as money constraints.

However, money wasn't ALWAYS the block.
Sometimes, it was the thought "What will others think If I do it this way or If at all, I do this?"
My very nice friend told me this sentence "People can think anything, you can't control their thinking. What you can control is your reaction to their thinking." I adopted this funda then onwards. But to be frank, before I understood this fact, I did lose many moments of my life thinking what will people think If I do this or say this or wear this.. etc..

I hear argument as "That's the society. People make the society so when you are part of society, you are influenced by their thinking. You are a social animal."
I tell you the solution - If you think that People won't accept what you are doing then go and ask this question to each individual whose thinking matters to you. Ask politely if your, taking this step, matters to them? I am little rude by saying this sentence but you can always take your gentle way to approach such people (People who matter to you). Ask them the reason for their reaction. Argue in a gentle manner to find out the logic in it. If it is logical, revisit your decision, but otherwise, this way, you will find that their support is in your favor.

For People who don't matter to you, do you care what they think about what you do?

So, STOP that thought which is blocking you from moving on. You always have a way out. Don't take it for granted. Life is really uncertain.

And there is lot of fun if something is uncertain. :-) Trust me, there is no meaning of an exam when you know your result already. There is no meaning in playing a game if you know your score already. So enjoy the uncertainty. There is excitement in each venture of unfold life parts.

[I made this post as the first part because I think I still have thoughts on the same topic to write and I don't want to make it an essay so better be it classified and short;-)]

Enjoy..
~KrupA

It's Again the CHOICE ~

It's Just a Phase! - But still you choose ~

Many of us pass through this phase in life when we feel that we have started liking someone. Someone really special!

You feel it but you deny it.

Sometimes people don't let you believe it.

Sometimes people (read Parents in many cases) don't allow you to go for it.

May be, You just fight against your own feeling.

You don't want to,

But you still let it go.

How do you say then, that if you are meant to get it you will get it ?

HOW?

You lost that chance that you had gotten. You lost that choice. As someone says - You always have a choice in any situation. I totally AGREE!

After loss of that choice, the phase goes, just like any other phase in life, leaving the imprints of nicest time ever. Leaving behind the possibility of being with the special someone for entire life.

I have talked with few friends, and when they explain me the reason for denial of that special feeling for various reasons - I, still, can not be convinced. I don't understand the reasoning. It generally sounds logical but it doesn't sound real. It never sounds as a right thing to happen in that right moment.

I don't know how to handle the case when you feel that special someone doesn't feel anything for you.
I really don't.

But I think one should never give up without talking the emotion out. It is important for you to stay open and communicative about your own feeling.

Take care!

~KrupA

Powerful Quote I Say ~

I had heard many times, read it at many places that what you see is the reflection of you. But did not really understood it and hence never agreed to it.

Realized lately that whatever I find irritating in people around me, or whatever I feel angry at - is somehow part of me. For example, if someone asked me too many questions about some small thing, I was getting so irritated. But then the introspection made me see that "I" also do ask questions to many people about many things. They must be feeling irritated by me too.

I love if someone gives a nice smile at me and I found that Yes I do like to smile nicely at people so that I add happy feeling to someone's moment. Very Recently I received a compliment which said "I love the way you smile, life must be pretty good". Did you see the effect of a smile? It just emanated a positive vibration which did affect someone.

I love to see someone having positive approach about love and I am so sure that my heart is so passionate about the concept of love.

And many more things that I can go on describing......

I was already going through such thoughts and there I read something said by Gandhi -
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhiji took the approach of non-violence. Why? Because he wanted to see the world in peace, non-violence. Since that moment, the bell is continuously ringing in my mind with this sentence. I am reminding myself continuously to improve upon my negatives because I don't want to see them ever in the people around me. What More could I do? I can only try.

Changing the world is not my cup of tea. But this sentence does have power - (writing again)
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"

~KrupA

The QUEST

Few things are proven in this world and many are not. For the later kind, we derive our own comprehension and we see such millions of different perceptions. Here goes one such perception from my mind :-)

What a human seeks for? Answers! Answers to the questions which are on his mind all the times. A question against the existence of each and every thing. A question for his own existence!

This quest has continued years after years, one life after the other. ( This is also a question on one's mind that what happens after death? Is there a rebirth or is that the end? What Next?!!).. What happens when the man doesn't find the answer for some question? He has no choice but accepting someone else's perception. And that he is not ready to do. Because of the QUEST that drives him.

I believe there are answers for each and everything, may be there is a need to ask the 'Right' question to 'Right' people or look for them at 'Right' source. OR may be there is a need to open the heart and start building the faith in THE existence. Basically, two choices - Believe Or Keep searching. May be a middle way is a good option- believe partially and search more based on that belief ;-)

At the end of the day, in your quest, you MUST build some faith in the right direction. You should never reach a stage where you feel 'I am going nowhere.' Keep seeking for answers because after all, it's the question that drives you.

[I guess my today's post sounds like a dialogue from movie Matrix, but it's not :-) It may be influenced a little bit in the presentation but it is from my mind based on my experience]

!KrupA!

Effect of time

Some times due to the stress that I choose to bear, It happens that entire day I stay with some state of mind and then ultimately with some fight within, I sleep. Stress may be defined as some kind of problem at work, or any personal issue with any of your friend or any tension related to any matter.

However, Next morning is fresh when I open my eyes. I do not feel anything but a nice freshness in everything. But in just few minutes when my mind wakes up, it starts playing with the time other than 'Now', i.e. Past events or anything else which had caused any kind of stress last day. Then I lose. That stress affects me at least in some way. If I choose to ignore it or if I find a solution for it then its effect is lesser until I sleep next day.

Basically, what I am trying to say here is - When mind is really asleep or when mind is not controlled by time or events associated with it, then I am totally fresh and happy but not otherwise. This is again in context of any stressful condition that I am walking with. It's not valid to say that I am not happy ever. Of course, I am happy many many times, but sometimes under mental stress, my state of mind is controlled by the factor other than me.

I do not like such situation Personally. I am now trying to accept that freshness that I feel first in morning and take it along, rather than let the mind play. When naturally I am happy, why should I let anything else take that control over and change that happy effect/mood? Trust me, natural reaction is to forget things and stay in the present but over the years, we develop this habit of re-living the time when we are not happy and keep that feeling inside.

I think this is precisely what The book 'The Power of Now' says - Stay in 'Now' and do not let psychological time take things over. (Find review about this book here.)

इस पल में जो जीया,
वही तो है मैने जीयाा;
इस पल को उस पल से जोड़ कर,
मैने पूरा जीवन सजा लीया!

Deal with unexpected -

Expectation is the worst disease in this world.

- Root cause for every broken relationship.
- Reason for any new relationship to become worse.
- It demands explanation for each and every action.
- It is never in proportion with what you get/achieve and in turn causes dissatisfaction.

I am never an excluded victim from above mentioned effects. But definitely, I am not the 'forever' victim of this disease.

As Many people believe (Not sure if they follow it or not), 'Take the life as it comes'. I understand healthy competition and mature relationship satisfaction is everyone's objective. I am totally with that expectation. But how is it fair to hurt yourself from that non-meeting expectation?

Self-questioning is the best way to assess your reaction to any circumstance. Ask yourself questions -
"How does this matter to me?"
"How does it change the circumstance if I react in opposite manner?"
"What if I change myself for such situations in life and take this as a general matter rather than a very personal matter?".
"How this affects me emotionally?"
"How important is it for my emotions and ego?"
"Is my ego valid at this point?"
"Is it a good idea to stick to my ego Or it's not a big deal to let go of it in this matter?"
etc.

Go to a place where there is no one that can hear you and Keep asking and answering questions. You will find a solution and relief with every next question.

Sometimes due to previous experience you can foresee a problem. Like how you ask questions when you see a functional specification where objective is similar to what you might have worked upon earlier.
And sometimes you trace back and see why the problem occurred and rectify your program so that it works bug-free. "Debugging" is the word for this in programming world. And I am sure you always want to become a programmer who doesn't repeat the same bug/defect going forward.

Apply the same funda here and Do not let yourself fall in the similar issues in life which occur due to not-meeting-expectations.

Such approach helps stay happy you know ;)

(I hope I am making sense here..)
~kRUPa

4th Tense..

As usual during my general analysis about my own behavior, I observed one thing. How many tenses I live in?

Though there are three tenses that we learn since childhood, I found myself floating in different tenses.
One is Past tense - where any past event or matter just comes in front me and then I sometimes enjoy and sometimes suffer from the past.

Second is Future tense - where I dream of something, I see myself at some place. Sometimes I try to work towards it or sometimes I try to just enjoy with that imagination or sometimes I feel disappointed if that is a very distant dream.

Third is my aim - the present tense - the current moment. I am writing this in this present moment.

While the last tense that I found, really doesn't exist. I mean if we choose, we can see its presence and if we choose to stay with reality, it doesn't exist.
"If this had happened Or If she had come Or If I had been there with you Or If they had played a shot like this Or If .... etc.." ---- "Then... this could had been different, I could had enjoyed.. we could had won...and so on.." It is not future nor past and definitely it is not present. It is the gone moment where I imagine something to happen in a different manner. It is like going back to the past with future type imagination, but this imagination can never be a reality.

So knowingly, we suffer in this tense with disappointment.

In Hindi, we know this tense with a word "काश". we many (many) times stay in this tense. Well I am taking a general term as 'we' here but let me admit that I have lived in this fourth tense many times. But my continuous effort is to stay in the 'Present Tense'.. I try my best.. and I will keep trying until I succeed.

How about you.. you felt anything like that?

~KrupA