Sunday, May 27, 2007

Changes when in Love ~

Almost everyone says "If someone tries to change you in love, do not go with that person, Because LOVE can not grow on basis of change or can not grow conditionally".
I do not disagree with this statement. But I do have another perspective about entire thing.

One thing I believe is - "Change is only Constant". Everyone keeps going through certain changes in life. From my personal experience I can say that What I was before few months, I am not the same today. Anyway..

So, I was talking about changing yourself for someone when you are in love. Let's take examples.
(When you fall in love ~)
When you love someone who smokes cigar and you know that smoking is a bad habit and is injurious to someone's health, but you already love that person, so smoking might not be the factor that your love changes for that person. Now, you want that person to change his habit, a change for good.

While you are reading this, I hear you saying - this example is not really a good example to support the argument. Hmm.. I know, sometimes, I am really bad at explanation :).

Let me try another one -
(When you started walking in love~)
Some people have a general attitude of not liking too much of social communications and rather they prefer staying little aloof or stay in smaller group and not merge with society in general. Now, imagine that your partner is one of such people, but on the other hand you like to talk with as many people as you can and make new relations and maintain them. How would you handle such situation? At least one of you WILL have to adjust Or both of you might have to come forward one step.
Is not such change OR such Compromise a support factor for a good loving relationship?

(When you walked a bit in love ~)
Ok let me take a situation when you don't want to change and you don't want to compromise also. Take a case when you are a girl and your partner doesn't like you in western clothes - i.e. Jeans, T-shirts, shirts, skirts etc. and would love to see you in local attire -i.e. in case of India, Indian dress. In this case, You will never want to change the way you look by changing the attire just because your partner doesn't like it that way. When your partner fell in love with you, you were not wearing only Indian dress and now he wants you to change. Why? (This is just one example of its kind. But there will be many such cases)

Did you see the root cause in above case? It's the changing expectation. And you may feel that the expectation should not change and circumstances should not demand the changes if you are in love.

But somehow I want to incline towards the fact that expectations DO change. We have to deal with it. We can not escape! And trust me unless you/your partner compromise a bit in anything, you may not be able to stand the changing expectations!

In summary, I think I tried to touch two cases here -
  • Changing yourself
  • Changing Expectations
I am not really sure If I made my point clear, but I am for both the things in life - 'Changing myself' and also 'deal with changing expectations'. Of course the magnitude of the change is a subjective term here, which I can not generalize! :)

[I read my post after publishing, just to make sure that it makes sense and there are no spell mistakes, then I found something funny :) and that is - 'Last sentence was kinda disclaimer', wasn't it? ;) ) :) read that again ]

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice observation. I guess I agree with you on both your arguments!!

Sathish said...

It happens even in other cases of our life. Career, Friends, Children, Parents, Material things like House, Car, mobile phone... This goes on...

So why not think still deeper?

Krupa said...

:) I Know it happens in many things - "Change is only constant".

But I wanted to write it in context of 'Love' relationship. Leaving the deep thinking to you :) :)

Good to know that this one made its point clear though...

~kRUPa

Sathish said...

:)... :)

mmm... it did.. (Well, Neha may differ)

Anonymous said...

I wonder what is all this hoopla about changing?Each and everyone of us has kept on changing since the moment we were born!But I think the most difficult thing to change is one's nature. But I totally agree with changing for your loved one. But the change should be voluntary, not forced, otherwise the whole purpose of changing goes to the drains!
I think the changes in lovers should happen in such a way that one should himself/herself radically change to please his/her partner, not the other way round,i.e Tell or Expect your partner to change for you. This is ALL that makes the difference.Trust me. Only then your partner will realise your efforts and change in ways to please you.
Whoa!That was too much!anyways as I said I love to change, I would gladly change for the girl I love!

Krupa said...

Hey Richard,

:) I am sure the girl you will fall in love with, will be the lucky one and not just because you will change for her, but because you have good understanding and your nature is superb :-)

Thanks buddy for the comment! This reminds me that you do visit my blog!

~KrupA

Sathish said...

mmm... is not change is a change... irrespective of forced or voluntary? :-?

Krupa said...

Hi Sathish,

Change is a change but it makes a difference if the change is forced on you or you change voluntarily.

There is a difference when you eat when you are hungry and when you eat when you are full.

Love is called Love when it is voluntary, when it is "Dil se" otherwise it is called an exploitation.

Sathish said...

:) :) Ok....
Compartments/Clasifications under CHANGE.... a Subset...