For my previous post somebody anonymously commented and I wanted to argue. But comment section is not the right place to argue. So thought to write more.
'Curbing the natural instinct', is that the right word for something you learn? I don't think when people make natural mistakes, they should not correct it because it is a natural instinct. My interdependency and intimacy in any relationship should not be based on assumptions. Open communication is always required when we claim intimacy in the relationship. Of course, I do not ask my parents to be there for me. But many a times you are left with no choice than asking them because unless you mentioned, they were not aware of it. Take an example, you are in love with someone, you want to marry that person. Your parents are not aware of it and hence they are assuming that you will marry the person they say.
The assumption made out there really looks irrelevant to your close relationship with your parents. In fact, in our lives we face situations when even If we ask our parents to be there for us (as in scenario like above), they do not. What do you call it? Do you think it is right to curb your natural instinct of loving someone and to be with that person forever. I don't think it is right. Let not people assume about your emotional values. Not curbing natural instinct -is only right when the lessson you are learning out of it is making you more mature.
Another point, Why do I have to make an opinion about people? Why can't I learn not to judge anyone by not making opinion? Everybody talks about practicality. Who defines this practical approach towards life? I believe, everyone makes the customized rules for them because of their own set of fears and weaknesses. I am afraid of getting into attachment in any relationship where there is suffering due to lack of communication, due to unnecessary blames, due to assumptions. Hence, I made myself follow the detachment. I am not kind of a person who doesn't believe in getting into a relationship. I believe a relationship with full of love is amazing gift one can cherish forever.
But detachment has it's own defintion. There are many definitions available on net so will not repeat it.
Wisdom is not in reading,researching about it and writing about it, rather in following it.
Now addressing the specific case, where someone advises to know him or her better. I would definitely look forward to know the person better/more but my learning goes along with me. After this learning, I think my relationship with anyone will be better.
:-) good luck to me!
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