उम्मीद

Departure is so certain!
Still there is a hope-

झरने की तरह नदी में घुलने की उम्मीद,

बादल की तरह बरस कर,

ज़मीन से मिलने की उम्मीद;

शब्दों से जुडी एक कवि की उम्मीद,

रंगो से जुडी उस कलाकार की उम्मीद;

लफ़्ज़ों में बंधी गीतकार की उम्मीद,

साँसे खोनेवाले के लौटने की उम्मीद!
:(
सिर्फ 'उम्मीद' ही है लेकिन~ Like a mirage कहे तो और क्या कहे?
KrupA

Tsk..Tsk.. The System tooo???

Can't Resist telling you about it.

This has happened earlier also. But today was the height of all.
I am trying to run some program in background and monitoring it. (It is called background job.)
It is not ending.
I thought it's just taking little more time, may be I can finish my other small task by then.
I finished other task but the job is still not ending. Let me check the logs.
It doesn't show up anything. (What's wrong?!?) Sigh!!!

There is a Team called Environment Managers(EM) team which takes care of the environments (read SAP R/3 systems).
I sent them an email with many screen shots in it. I expected some delay in even opening my email. I kept my supervisor in 'CC' list to increase little weight of my email. (Otherwise, who cares to open my email? )
I sent (another) email with 'high' importance.
After sometime, they said - "There doesn't seem to be any problem. If you try now, may be it will work"
And you know what? It worked!!

I don't understand what's happening and what's wrong. I accepted that bitter possibility that the system doesn't like me and then tried running the programs. After one successful execution, when I thought everything is alright and back, up again, the system showed up similar problem.

Bummer...............

I sent (one more) email and I literally wrote these words -
"I think, {system} doesn't like me anymore and wants 'EM(The Doctor of the system)'s attention' again. "

Latest update - The system is still not up for me. I could see the EMs having their tea in the building and roaming here and there to check their other work with other people.

:( My email is not being looked upon, I guess.

This is the proof that the humans don't like to work for my problems nor the system likes me anymore. :-( :-(

kRUPa

The 90/10 Principle

Just remembered one article that I had read some day, thought let me share it here.

Stephen Covey has mentioned in the 90/10 Principle --
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

I believe in that principle completely as it is (so) practically proven. If I look back in my life - those major events, then I realize my own attributes, characteristics and learnings are based on/derived from my reactions to those major events and NOT from the events.

Many times, You hear yourself saying - 'since then' my life has changed. I have become this, become that... Those are the same moments that I am talking about.

Let me try if I can give some minor examples ~

When someone had scolded me about something, how did I take it?

• This can show, How open am I for criticism?
• How positively do I take the face-to-face said negative words about me?

At work, when someone got a promotion and I did not. How did I take that entire scenario? Did I try to analyze what was missing in me and improve on it?

• My reaction in such circumstances can give the hint about how different do I think?
• How do I tackle with the misleading negative emotions (Jealousy, Envy..)?
• How calm and controlled am I?
• How do I remain focused towards the right lessons in that situation?

In addition, there are many emotional milestones you face in life where you think that it is changing you from the core. Your beliefs are changing, your priorities are changing. You realize that you mature in those moments.

:) Isn't it true with you too?

!~ KrupA ~!

Say 'No'

I have been thinking about management as an independent topic for quite sometime now. (Why this post today? Read the post-logue at the end of the post :-))I believe that 'People management' is most difficult task. It is difficult for various reasons.
It deals with different individuals all the time. It has to deal with the people with different nature, different attitude, different emotion at different point of time. So It's totally dynamic.

If it's a resource management, where the resource doesn't have emotion then you know what kinda nature that resource has and you have study and researches to support it. There can be rules defined for how to manage it. However, it is not that static and predictable when it comes to people as resources.

I am not a manager but I have some things on my mind and I wanna put them here. One of the Important management attributes is to - Say 'No'. A good manager must know how to say No for something and still retain the same relation.

If the situation demands being rude then the manager must know to use the right set of words which are sophisticated enough to convey the right message of denial.

If the situation has quite sensitive topic under discussion then the manager must maintain the gentle behavior which should rightly be reflected in his words. And as said, the relation should still be maintained.

Being a resource, this is what I would expect my manager to understand. He can not allow me to do or demand 'any'thing. He must know how and when to say No. It is sure, that his refusal for my request, will disappoint me but If I can still feel the respect for that manager and have the faith in him then that means he succeeded in conveying the denial in a right manner.

[Opposite of 'Prologue' ;) - I saw one of my friends being called for charity work everywhere by many people. I felt bad. I did not like the fact that he could not say No to anyone and had to suffer. People should not buy comfort and convenience on the cost of someone who is good and gentle by nature and can not say (damn) No to someone. This incident triggered the post-topic today. Though I talked about it as a general management attribute, it is equally important in our general life. Ultimately, we deal with People with different emotions at different point of time.]

P.S: I know that there is no word like post-logue. I created one ;-) !

~KrupA

Frozen mania

I still remember those days when, in India, we don't eat food of more than 1.5 days. We cook every time fresh and then eat fresh food. I never used to eat left-overs.

Today, I see myself and I feel sad. In US, there are 90% of things that we eat, are Frozen. We use Microwave for anything to everything. Reheating the food is absolutely Common. Any damn weekend, I don't feel like cooking as there is some Frozen Ready to eat available in my freezer.

I hear the arguments by people - who has time to cook everyday in the busy life here? I don't disagree that life is busy. But that doesn't mean that I accept the indirect argument as in India, we have lots of time to cook. Eventually it's the same number of hours(24 hours) in a day. It has same number of 'working' hours in India too. In fact, to my experience, sometimes, there is much more time spent while commute in India. People still cook fresh everyday.

Anyway, I am not really trying to stress on why people cook fresh in India and not in US. The discrimination wasn't really what I was trying to put forth.

I think, there is a lot of Frozen food mania around. The option of getting frozen food is not doing any good to me. It is making me more lazy to cook. It doesn't give me nutrition of fresh food. It doesn't give me good fresh taste of food. Basically, no good on the cost of saving time.

I don't like this maniaaaaaaaaaaa. (I am not saying I don't have choice to cook fresh everyday, but it's not happening as there is such stupid option in front of me. I wanna change it. No more frozen food. I hope I can change it)

~KrupA

One more Philosophical idea of mine

I am sure you will agree with me on this one.

It gives you immense pleasure

- When you do something to make someone smile,

- When you put efforts to do something surprising for someone and you find that someone is extremely pleasantly surprised.

There were times when my friends or my family have done something for me and I have felt great about it. But the happiness is multiplied when I do something for someone. Someone who is my Best friend, someone who's really close to my heart.

I think, it is in our nature to make our closed ones happy, To do things which can keep the sadness away from them. Sometimes we forget that and we start expecting others to do something for us. And I have a point there - Don't do something because that person has done something for you, rather do it for what that person is.

Recently, I surprised one of my friends here (who is leaving and chances are less that I get to meet her again) and she was touched by that expression and asked "What have I done so great that I deserve so much affection from you" to which my answer was: "You ARE just awesome person, you don't need to DO anything to deserve something".

Similarly,We should be good and behave good in life with loving attitude and GOD (that powerful positive energy) , someday, will feel like helping us in our good endeavors. We don't need to do something explicitly for Him. We just need to be ourselves.

At the Least, This is My philosophy:

"Be yourself and Be good to one and all, Great things will automatically happen to you! "

~kRUPa

!~! Worded Feelings !~!

तनहाई आज फिर से रोई,
चीख चीख साँसे फिर थम गयी,

कभी तमन्नाओ की मेहफिल सजी थी,
बेपनाह आज धड़कन की गुज़ारिश हुई;

सुबह सजी ख्वाबों की नाव,
जिंदगी के तूफान में शाम सी डूबी ;

कितना समजाऊ इस दिल को,
जब जिंदगी बेरंगी हो गयी!!

Trying to put emotion in words for the time when a person is struggling to create motivation to live life and in that struggle when that person faces (ups and) downs.

~KrupA

Expérience à Restaurant

Maximum times when I am in a restaurant, I have nothing much to talk. I am not too talkative person (anymore), specially when there is a social meet or Professional meet.

How to pass time in the restaurant? One thing is sure - Once you place the order for food, it is going to take 20 mins (at the minimum) to serve the order. 20 minutes is such a long time to pass when you have not much to talk about.

Sometimes, I feel as if time is frozen and I go even more restless. I end up playing with the things that are placed on the table. For example, I play with the knife, fork, plate, salt, pepper. This is not enough of course. I generally order Water-with-No-ice.

(I learned this term in American restaurants. Earlier, I used to say Water-without-ice. I don't really see the difference except the other person understands the formal better.) They give a straw to drink water. (God knows why do they need a straw to simply drink water from a glass!) I play with the straw Also.

Have you done any Chemistry classes in Science during your high school? There is a

pipette in the laboratory which you use to extract water or any other chemical fluid as one drop at a time. (I had forgotten the word 'pipette' but Thanks to Girish who helped me find the right word and he is my friend who thinks wikipedia is GOD and gives wiki entry for anything to everything and anywhere to everywhere, so this link is dedicated to you Girish :-P)In the restaurant, I try to use that learned concept and use the straw as a pipette to drink one drop at a time. Sheesh!!! I am just a messy around. If I take some juice then drinking it the way I described, becomes quite ill-mannered, ain't it? (But do I care? well frankly, I do, if I am at a Professional meet, but not otherwise ;-))

Okay, playing is also done. For how long am I going to play with those things which are not toys but the things used when we eat? Note that Smiling and laughing, in between, during conversation is a continuous task. Multitasking you know!! ;-) All these activities, still don't pass all 20 minutes. Frustrated and tired of smiling, I decide to excuse myself from that place and go visit the restroom OR I start staring more at the waiter/waitress who had taken our order, hoping that they can read my eyes.

The food arrives and then everyone (who was continuously talking during those 20 minutes, who did not even have to think about passing the time) says - "Worth a wait! Food looks nice!" And I say - Nothing! I simply start eating. :P

Cheers ;-)
KrupA

Dreadful it was - a Dream

I had a very bad dream last night. I was lost at a place where it was quite dark and there was no commute available. I had money to give to anyone who can take me to my destination, but unfortunately there was none who could give me a lift.

I was trying to find the right direction where I can get the transport facility. I reached a place where there were many men standing in front of each other - like in 2 lines facing each other and between them only a gap enough to pass for one person. They were no one else but people who do business of girls. Who sell girls in the market, basically, body business. I was trying to pass from there as I had no other way to go to.

I don't know what happened during the night, and morning I see myself as an escape who realizes, has been raped. I saw some little girls playing and I was trying to get some clothes from them to put on and to run even farther away from that place. I was devastated and broken. Crying like hell and feeling dead like a stone.
Seeing a fairly bright day and a road (like a highway), I ran towards that direction and the dream was broken.

This dream was completely dreadful. I can not be afraid of any Ghost in a dream or any Ghost in reality than such a possibility in real life. A possibility to be raped! I am sure people who have suffered from this pain, know what does it mean. I can not feel that pain completely, but to be frank, I am scared of that dream also. I never want such dream.

This caused a question in the mind, why someone rape some unhelped soul? What do they get? Don't they understand what does it mean to respect someone and not forcefully ruin one's life? Do they even know what is life?
Do they even realize what 'Karma' they are creating by doing such an awful and atrocious deed?

I don't know what else to say. I am still terrified by my dream and that thought of a possibility.

Wish - things improve. Don't know how!

~KrupA

Indian Cricket Match ;-) Stay Tuned

Did you ever feel tensed or worried when India played Cricket match Final against South Africa/Australia (basically a strong Team) where India needed 14 runs from 18 balls?

I am feeling that tension right now. I am sure this won't make sense right now. But stay tuned, Let India win and I will tell you what is this about ;-)

Go India ---

ha ha..

kRUPa

A writer

What defines a writer? I was wondering.

Long ago, I had got this feedback that I should write in a way that a person who is reading it, can 'feel' what I have written. If I have written a poem, a person should be able to feel the depth of each word.

I had taken that quite seriously. I have been trying to improve my writing by doing proof-reading (many times) and making sure that the meaning is being conveyed in its right manner.

Recently, I was given a feedback as I have not written about Love when I claimed to try to write about. It was a straight forward opinion.

It was shocking and disappointing, BUT, that is exactly my aim when I say I want to excel in writing - I want to write in a way that every single person who's reading my post can feel the 'right' purpose behind the post, can feel the right meaning of the words used. I wish to see that day soon!! (I need to study more about how to write, I guess)

~KrupA

* Of the Day

They say:

"SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ARE DREAMERS"

No wonder, I am not getting dreamless sleep.

;-)
Cheers~

Love For a Partner (Longest Post ever)

I write about Love and I am always in favor of any relationship which has a base of love and hence some people asked me, recently, to define Love. I was wondering how would I define it. I am still not sure how should I define it.

However, I thought let me start putting together all the ideas of Love that can come to my mind. This post can be one of those posts which will talk about Love. So if you don't feel like reading about Love, this post is not for you ;-) :-)

There are numerous forms of Love and even more forms of expressing that Love. Love for a partner is one of those. While I am thinking of definition of Love, I thought let me use different way to write down the thoughts here.

'Think' (Don't assume or believe :-)) of me as a person seeking a 'he' partner where I describe here what would I love him for ~
I would love him:
1) For the Friend in him

• The friend who, at times, will scold me when I go wrong or negative in life.
• The friend who, at times, can become the source of motivation in anything I do.
• The one, who will laugh with me when we are doing any fun activity
• Be it watching some photographs
• Be it watching a movie together
• Be it sitting in the balcony and gossiping (don't think that gossip is the word only for women, mind you, it is a Generic word)
• Be it any stupid joke that we crack on anything or anyone
• The one whose eyes will have the expression of pride when he finds me achieving something
• Be it Project success
• Be it a degree certification
• Be it a dance or any talent competition in a community meeting or any social function
  
• The one who will try to accept me for what I am BUT always there to help me change myself for the good. (I am always open for the change, I don't believe that one shouldn't change for anyone)

2) For the father in him - No, I am not saying father of my kid, instead 'my' father. When, few of the times, if I am upset about something, he will know it and come and 'discuss' with me with his fatherly advice about the matter.

3) For the mother in him - When I am sick or not keeping well, he will shower the motherly care on me. When he comes to me with his capability to nurture me in a way that helps me grow in all aspects of life, all responsibilities.

4) For the Protector in him - Even though when he knows that I can manage my safety, he tries to express his love and care by taking care of my safety. (Mind here, he should not get clingy about it though. )

5) For the kid in him - who becomes crazy when he sees someone playing a video game. When he puts his towel anywhere after shower, when he denies to get up early and needs the motherly love/motherly spanking ;) to wake him up.

6) For the man in him -

• Who satisfies me for my physical needs
• Who has passion when he's making love to me
• Who has enthusiasm in making our relationship grow better each day, just like, I may have.
• Who can make my day, for example, by just kissing on my forehead and say the simple words "I Love You" Or "Take care" with the pure emotion in his eyes. (I am not asking this should be a routine, but the feeling should be strong one whenever he expresses it)
  

7) For the self-confidence that he carries with him but still carries the need of my support which can make him feel complete & similarly which I can look up to him for.

8) For the support that he gives me when I am emotionally down. For the empathy that he carries in his heart for people.

9) For the spirit of enjoying the life to the fullest with each moment in hand.

10) For the respect that he would give me for my way of loving people, our parents, our family.

How Perfect does this sound! As if I am in a dream world and thinking that one can get all these in one person. Of course, it is also understood that a person can not be in all/many roles at a time but he can be in at least one of the roles at one time.

Trust me, we all are capable to be perfect for each other with the sense of mature-adjustments in us. If we understand each others' needs, we can change our selves to make each other happy.

Life is not all about 'me' and what "I" need, rather it is about Love that we all need and about the Love that we all shower.

I wrote about 'he' partner but could you not relate to what your partner should be like?

It is not certain, that I get such a partner or you get such a partner or we get to meet the perfect partner. But have faith and be sure that you understand that things happen for a reason so you better learn to accept your life and grow in Love.

~kRUPa

One Random कल्पना

वो पत्ते पर पानी की बूंद,
अँधेरा जैसे घने बादलों का,
हवा में वो ठंडी नर्मी,
आँखो से बोलती हुई,
हर वो आर्ज़ू की केहनी;

His Lips,
Holding unseen dewdrop,
Like the bed of warmth,
Like the cushion so soft,
Lord! never wanna forget its deep touch!

कुदरत के खुबसूरत रंगो में
उसकी अदाएं झलकती है,
झाँक के देख लू उसकी आँखो में,
जिंदगी जैसे जावेदा सी लगती है;

His Eyes,
Where Promises seem never ending,
Where Dreams are unlimited,
That Takes me away with its charisma,
Now I am all drowning in his enigma.

:) One more Random creation.. I like to mix हिंदी and English.

~kRUPa

Toll Theft

About a month back, I was going to San Fransisco. On that road I have pay toll at one place. There are several lanes out there. (Almost 10 lanes)

To save people's time, every single system is trying to improve by making use of technology. There are few lanes which are not operated by humans. It is called Fast Track Lanes (operated by some company I guess). The sticker that you may put on your car is scanned by some scanners out there and then you can just pass through those fast lanes where no one interrupts you.

When I was getting closer to the lanes, I did not realize that I am approaching the fast track lane . I wanted to change the lane. Somehow, due to the continuous honks by the car behind my car, I kept moving little bit forward and at one time I reached the place where I could not change the lane and I was made to pass through the fast track lane. Now, this is called as a Violation, Theft of toll.

I was so upset about it and was sure that I will get some letter at home about this and I might have to pay some fine.

Finally, I received it last weekend and then I paid that fine online. The funny part of this sad story was - When I made the payment, I received an email of confirmation which had following sentence -

"Dear XXXX,

Your Violation payment has been processed successfully.

Thank you.

We appreciate your Business!"

Sigh!!!! Ironic.

(To be frank, I am exaggerating ;-)) They did not say '...appreciate business...'

However, the letter that came to my house had some funny words as "If you are violating it first time then open your account online and make the payment." etc..

My day ended with a mix emotion where one side I thought, thankfully I got rid of the unknown-fine-amount suspense while on other side I had to make the payment for some violation. The violation which was, of course, unintentional. But A crime is a crime! You have to pay the price always. I had to pay too and So I did!

~KrupA

The good that happened - About Plane journey

I described the plane journey earlier and now after sitting at different locations in the plane I think I have found the best place in the plane.

Business/First Class is not something that I will talk about, because that's not my cup of tea :-)

Where Economy class starts, the first row and the aisle seat. It is the best location for various reasons.

• If you want to go to the restroom, you can go without disturbing anyone.
• There is a lot of Leg space in the front as there is a significant gap between the business and economy class.
• If anyone else in the same row, wants to go to the restroom then you don't even have to get up. They can pass by so easily.
• The crew-service for drinks, also starts from there and you don't have to wait for long for the drinks.
• When the flight lands - you can very quickly come out of the plane. (Which I am sure everyone wants to do. I hate to wait in the plane to get out of it) In such situation, if you have not checked-in your luggage then you can come out of air-port so quickly.

Above were those few valid reasons that I could give.

Whenever you have a choice to change the seat then try the location that I recommended here.

(By the way, my return journey was really smooth - which is unlike my every other experience)

~KrupA

Yeah.. it is plane journey..

Of course, I am publishing this post asynchronously because I did not get the internet connection during plane journey, but it is all written during the plane journey.
Read below~

Currently in a flight-travelling. The plane journey is one thing that I hate the most in this world. The shortest time is taken by journey by air but worst is the space provided in the plane.

I absolutely enjoy the take-off and landing part of the journey. I am always thrilled to see the way the plane tires just get into air when it takes-off. When the flight lands, it is again fun to feel the touch of the land. I do enjoy it.

But rest of the journey inside the plane, Ah!! I hate it. Now there are various reasons that I hate it for:

• There are many things and facilities that are un-discovered by me in the plane and I don’t feel the freedom to even discover it. I always feel that I might do something wrong.
• The flight-crew never-ever serves water as a default-serving. You have to ask for it. Sigh!! (You have to ASK for WATER!!)
• When the crew comes and serves the food or drinks, they never tell you what all they have. They assume you are the frequent traveler and then if you ask for options, they tell you some few drink names and (always) sitting at the window seat, I end up saying either sprite or water-with-no-ice. (By sitting at window seat I mean that I can not ask many questions and disturb other people)
• There is very little leg-space. And “I” never get to expand my seat-backwards to make it more comfortable because the person behind me is always doing something and unfortunately, the person in front of me always has pushed his seat backwards. I think I just get some space to survive and hence I always wish the flight duration should be very minimal.
• Yeah, another thing I forgot to mention. Whenever I enter the flight and open the cabin to put my luggage, I don’t find space there. Even though I reach the airport so-in-time, I get no freedom to put my luggage properly.

Okay, today, there occurred a funny incident. I was sitting in the first row in economy classs area which starts where the Business area ends. The staff had just started serving drinks. I wanted to go to the restroom but they were in my way to the restroom, they told me to use the rest-room on business class side. Well, frankly, when she told me to use it, I assumed it is normal to use that restroom. However, it was assumption and it turned out to be a false one. J When I went second time, she let me use it but when I came out she, politely, told me to use the economy class restroom :D..lol..

Well, this wasn’t enough. We see people and derive more assumptions ;-) The fellow, sitting in my row also thought it is okay to use that restroom. (Of course, he did not see that lady telling me not to use it.. ha ha..) So he also went there and then finally the staff member came and closed the partition between economy and business class.

I enjoyed that incident ;-). However, if I am sitting in business class then I would not bother about someone from economy class-using the restroom. How does it matter? The person using it is a well-mannered human. Anyways, I guess it’s the crew’s duty to make sure rules are followed.

I am still some half an hour away from my destination. I wish it gets over sooooooon.

(After few minutes) I just came back from using the restroom in economy class and frankly there was not difference except the way the door opens (;-)). But let me add one more point to the list of things that I hate in the flight.

When you want to go to the restroom and the restroom is occupied, you end up standing in the middle waiting. It is ridiculous when the rest of the people look at you as you wait to relieve yourself from some pressure ;-) ;-)

Anyways.. Long post about something that I hate. How stupid! I should write more about things that I like, shouldn’t I? :-)

Have fun..

~Love
KrupA