Something in Hindi

ye kaisa waqt hai jindagi ka,
jo aage nahi badhta;

hawaye chalti hai,
par ek patta bhi nahi hilta;

raat ho gayee hai,
par suraj nahi dhalta;

saase chal rahi hai,
par dil nahi dhadkta;

aankhe khuli hai,
par ek aasu bhi nahi aata!!

~Unknown

(This is not written by me, but it suits me at the moment)

~Make one's day~

To make someone's day - It is a very nice feeling. And when that someone is your close friend -.. fir to kya kahiye :)

Things change in life, we change with time too, Priorities change, but we keep living & at every stage of life, we have different people around. Even a single happy day because of you in someone's life, is an achievement for you. You made his/her day. After all we live only one moment at a time, so don't you think that you actually put your heart in making someone happy in that one moment?

There is a book called 'Fish Tales', I read it few years back, but I still remember its funda of making one's day. Imagine - one entire day - full of loads of work or totally without work, But there comes a service person (or anyone..I am just giving an example) and gives you a nice smile and wishes you a good day, did you not feel good? If at the end of day, if you try to remember just one nice thing happened to you that day, then you will Definitely remember his/her smile. Bet?? :)

Today evening when I was leaving the office, I was smiling because I had a good day today, there one man entering the building saw me and said: "You're smiling, you had a good day, yeah? Have a good evening" & then a nice smile. I feel that I made his day with my smiling face and then eventually he made mine too..

Sometimes just a smile, sometimes just one word -'Take care', sometimes a simple 'hi..', sometimes word - 'miss you' while sometimes a word - 'love you' makes your day. You need not be physically present to make anyone's day.

As a bottom line - We live a moment at a time, it is up to us that we want to make someone's day in that moment or we want to spoil their day? :) (It also depends how the other person takes that.. but I don't wanna talk about it right now.. )

~KrupA

Faith in God

There is a reason for everything on this earth. We Only have the control over what choice we make to see & accept the right reason.

I am here for some purpose, I need to learn to love people, control my anger, accept everyone equally at higher level.. etc... most importantly I am here to stay happy always. I was recently asked a question - 'Do you believe in GOD?' & I said 'No'. Why did I say no? May be because I thought, GOD is not taking care of me & I see no reason to trust Him, as He doesn't do any good to me. But someone (very nice person I know) told me that God's ONLY wish is that we stay happy. He can not do everything in our lives. Our mind as a medium has to translate His holy wishes into actions. But when we choose to stay sad, His wishes are disregarded. How injustice is that!

My answer is changed. Oh of course though- For me, having faith in GOD - has nothing to do with any religious matters. I need to get connected to Him. That's it. It can be anywhere (at home, at temple, at office...), anyhow (meditation, pooja,havan, karma kriya OR just loving&respecting myself).

Okay, what if something terribly goes wrong in your life & you are not responsible for it? Is 'blaming God', in that case, right?

Let me answer this question: Everything has a reason. If something wrong has happened, it is because you needed to learn some lesson out of it & you've not learned one yet. what's the point in blaming God when you did not do your job rightly? [P.S. - I am not talking about only one lifetime here] Had you learned your right lesson at the first place, you would never face it again.
You get ruined in business or you lose your loved one - Is God Responsible? Business case, He never advised you to do what you did & now you are blaming Him. Second case, everyone has limited lifespan. Nature has its own rules & calculations. Everyone has to come, go & come back again. You simply can't blame God for it.

hmm.. Did you get any message out of this post? You need to love yourself & listen to His wishes righly (GOD is within you). You need to translate them into actions so that your purpose is fulfilled/meaning is justified.

In this fast world & 21st century, people would really throw my thoughts into garbage & then they will go back & question God (standing in the temple, looking at the 'x' person, thinking - oh (s)he comes here too?) about their unfulfilled wish.

:) I would just smile then! I've already fulfilled my purpose.

~KrupA

Voicing an opinion

Someone( or some community) has thought of something and I want to say something @ it- that's called voicing an opinion about that thought.

Now out of many people we meet, everyone has their own style of conveying their opinion. (I lack that ability of conveying nicely OR even conveying any opinion) Everybody do not tend to listen. There are many who want to speak while there are many who doesn't want to speak but also doesn't want to listen to.

Am I trying to tell you differnt ways of voicing an opinion? NO. I just feel, this is one of those areas where one can improve so that can win people's hearts and also get the message conveyed in a right manner. When I put some thought, I should sound open to others' thoughts, my body language should say I am flexible. When I say - 'No, it's not so!'- it shouldn't hurt the other person. Well.. I am talking about very subjective topic here. I mean.. even if you are open for thoughts and other person is not open to accept the unacceptance of his/her thoughts - then my thoughts are not applicable there, isn't it?

I am not a big 'gyani' and I don't claim to be one. Out of my mini-brain, I take out some thoughts into words and I write something. I wouldn't expect people to get into shoes of any character of my blog. Why did I write this - coz somehow a blogger has always a risk of hurting people who read and who feel that the blog is meant for them. I really don't want to take any responsibilty.

I have a responsibility fear ;), you know.

Control

Inner wildness, can I control it? I believe I can, if I want to. But many a times I miss control over my inner wildness.

What do I mean by inner wildness? It's nothing but a state when myself doesn't like me as a person. When my soul doesn't feel good being in my body. However I try, I can not come out of the body. So I get angry. I see people around and I also shout at them (most of the times unnecessarily!) They get hurt and then I get no choice of overcoming that emotion which I impressed on them. The moment left - never comes back. I have been always saying this. I need to be totally present and controlled in every moment. But I am not yet!

Okay, can I also think that wildness is a feeling of being helpless? Helpless over circumstances. Helpless about the path I chose (which I had to choose)? Helpless about the outcomes of walking on that path? One knows and one never knows!! Do I sound very confusing to you? May be I intend to do so, but I know what I am writing and why. It is not meant for anyone to understand. And if think you do, you are misunderstanding. :)

What is my life meant for? Is it just doing some technical stuff, learning some programming fundas, cooking and writing blogs? I still keep checking my blog everyday like 'did anyone posted any comment?' But I am waiting for the day when I just write a blog and not expect comment and don't check it explicitly as a separate activity. It is not that I don't like comments and I don't like people reading my blog.

Let me explain! When I do something, it should not lead me towards an endless sufferingful net of expectation. Even if it just a matter of blogging!

Today, I have few more topics on my mind and hence will keep writing about them. But of course a separate topic for each.

~KrupA.

Just Adjustment

Just little adjustment and everything goes good. For everyone, who do not stay alone, this holds true that you have to adjust somewhere, somewhat. When you stay with someone, you always have to be flexible for every activity involved in your routine.

[Now comes my 'But' type of argument :-)...]

Even if you adjust, problems still arise. People still misunderstand, people still do not like your habit. They do know your nature, they have accepted you that way and shared a relation with you, but still they hate you sometimes. What do they gain in doing so? They invite unnecessary disturbance for themselves. One of my friends stays with some friends and he/she is suffering there. His/her routine is not accepted by others and they do not behave nicely. How a hatred feeling inside will invite peace?

How I see this - One should accept other person the way he/she is. At successful acceptance, one will feel fresh vibrations of healthy relation. And on the other hand, if any person has to adjust little bit in his/her nature, he should go for it to encourage a mature relationship.

Of course, if you just can not bear a relation, please be open and talk it out. You will get the solution. When there is no escape from a relation/circumstances, please adjust a bit and you will be happy. I mean, Why can you not drift away from your schedule, if that helps a good relation?

With adjustments, remember not to take any blame. Also do not take anyone for granted. All small small pieces combine together and affect a major aspect of your life.

Writing blog - helps me many times. When I started writing today, I was upset due to some similar problem, but at the end I remember that it was my choice and not anyone's behavior. And to resolve a problem, what required is - 'just adjustment' :-))

Lonely Me

If I ask myself - who am I? I really don't get any answer which can define me.

I am lost,
in the world of tress and rivers,
sea and mountains,
friends and families,
dreams and goals,
smiles and laughters!

I am lost,
in my fight with time,
in my search of unknown,
in the mirror of truth,
in the hope for hope!

I am lost,
where friends party,
where I am no one but unknown,
when I feel,
I am no more than a jukebox.

I am lost,
when my parents call me,
ask me how am I?
I lie & say-"I am great!",
they pretend to believe,
and then they cry.

I am lost,
when my near ones ask,
reason for my attitude,
I explain, and then hear back,
"You are negative"!

I am lost,
in the nights of stars,
I wake up and cry,
I see the world around,
and I see 'Lonely me'.

Life needs to be really worth to make the person feel not lost. I wish people do NOT feel lonely. It is a scarry feeling, it is a nightful world, it is nothing more than a dead life.

Don't worry about a 'willingly lonely person' (-as my friends perceive me).

Good luck!

Finding a purpose

Including myself, I have seen many people who are in search of the purpose of their existence. Trying to understand the meaning of 'purpose of my existence', I think on a higher level, we do not find any meaning ourselves. And that's why we keep on setting some aim which is achievable in this materialistic world. (u may find this 'materialistic' word in many of my posts..:-) )

I almost always take my example to explain some scenario. So here is one more. I am also looking for a reason of me as a 'being'. My world does not look complete to me, I keep searching something which is unknown to me. And then I set some aim which is of course achievable by means of money. [See, such a stupid aim from a higher perspective] I achieved that aim recently. Now what? I am happy coz I achieved. But that does not make me feel complete.

Unsatisfied & unending race of 'finding a reason' AND 'achieving a goal'. :-)

I am sure this post will discourage them more who are in search of their purpose! Sorry people, I can not help it, coz even I am suffering from the same.

So, whatever goals we keep on setting and achieving, you may never feel complete. But I know one thing, which can make u complete..i.e. Love. But it is not part of this post. Even though I am discouraged by this fact of life, I am also inspired by 'Realm of Love within'! Find something for yourself.

See you soon with something else!

My comfort

Thy discomfort healed me,
what kind of a friend am I?

Your help made me see,
things as right and wrong,
I did not acknowledge it,
what kind of a friend am I?

You valued my emotions,
but I made you cry,
what kind of a friend am I?

This looks true for everyone of us who faces such circumstances in life, where our comfort results into someone else's discomfort. And irony, of course that some one is our closer one.

To get an idea about such scenario- People never cry in front of anyone, but the near ones /friends. Now, the other side - seeing your close one crying, you don't feel comfortable as you can not help much sometimes.

What should be the right thing to do? Should the one who crys, should not cry anymore as it causes discomfort? Or the one who feels discomfort should tolerate discomfort which indirectly satisfies other person's emotional value?

I don't know the answer to this, as it quite a lot depends on the situation, the kind of relationship the two of them own. But when I face such situations in life, I really don't know what to do? Considering myself the one crying, I feel I should not cry anymore to cause discomfort.

But still, what I really feel is, if I am crying in front of someone, that means I might be subconsciously knowing that other person will be able to help me, will understand my sentiments. I may be wrong. May be that's why other person is uncomfortable.

Anyways, being on either side of situation, I don't think I would be uncomfortable, if my closer one needs me or I need him/her.

One should look into relationship in depth, to know the level of comfort. Open communication is the best way to identify.

Have a great day!

Correcting myself, only If wrong!!

For my previous post somebody anonymously commented and I wanted to argue. But comment section is not the right place to argue. So thought to write more.

'Curbing the natural instinct', is that the right word for something you learn? I don't think when people make natural mistakes, they should not correct it because it is a natural instinct. My interdependency and intimacy in any relationship should not be based on assumptions. Open communication is always required when we claim intimacy in the relationship. Of course, I do not ask my parents to be there for me. But many a times you are left with no choice than asking them because unless you mentioned, they were not aware of it. Take an example, you are in love with someone, you want to marry that person. Your parents are not aware of it and hence they are assuming that you will marry the person they say.

The assumption made out there really looks irrelevant to your close relationship with your parents. In fact, in our lives we face situations when even If we ask our parents to be there for us (as in scenario like above), they do not. What do you call it? Do you think it is right to curb your natural instinct of loving someone and to be with that person forever. I don't think it is right. Let not people assume about your emotional values. Not curbing natural instinct -is only right when the lessson you are learning out of it is making you more mature.

Another point, Why do I have to make an opinion about people? Why can't I learn not to judge anyone by not making opinion? Everybody talks about practicality. Who defines this practical approach towards life? I believe, everyone makes the customized rules for them because of their own set of fears and weaknesses. I am afraid of getting into attachment in any relationship where there is suffering due to lack of communication, due to unnecessary blames, due to assumptions. Hence, I made myself follow the detachment. I am not kind of a person who doesn't believe in getting into a relationship. I believe a relationship with full of love is amazing gift one can cherish forever.
But detachment has it's own defintion. There are many definitions available on net so will not repeat it.

Wisdom is not in reading,researching about it and writing about it, rather in following it.

Now addressing the specific case, where someone advises to know him or her better. I would definitely look forward to know the person better/more but my learning goes along with me. After this learning, I think my relationship with anyone will be better.

:-) good luck to me!

Taking granted -

Taking someone for granted - it's really not right. I did this mistake.

Just now I realized everytime I write in my blog about what mistakes I do or what lessons I learn. But ya, I can not portray anyone at fault, I can not judge anyone's actions than mine. Anyways... here goes today's thoughts.

I got so disturbed when someone got hurt because of me. I analyzed what did I do? hmm.. my mistake was - I took my relationship with him for granted and commented something about him which hurt him. I thought every friend does this type of masti but I was wrong. How could I think that every person may like my doing joke. Well, anytime you hurt someone, the best thing is to realize the mistake and apologize for the same. You feel relax. And I did that.

Any action you take you should own that action completely. Take that responsibility of what you do. I made a joke on someone and I took responsibility to correct it. I think I did right. I am not yet sure what that friend thinks about this. Whatever it may be, I am relax.

We keep on learning in life this way. We hurt someone, we realize, analyze and we grow. We make some other mistake, we learn again. :-) As simple as that!!

It looks simple, but it's not easy for anyone to realize the mistake. In fact accepting the fact that 'you are wrong', is part of very few people's nature. But trust me, those few people really don't suffer due to their mistakes because they ACCEPT and take action not to repeat.

The best part of the entire scenario was that person's being so frank and open about what he likes and does not like. I think people should help each other by being open and share it straight if something hurts their emotional values. Life will be lot easier.

Do not take anyone for granted. Don't let anyone take you for granted. Be open and you will see the natural transparency in the relationships around.

Learning to trust

Trusting people, oh!!! it's damn easy. :-) really? Well, you just spend some time with someone and due to momentary good behavior in some situation, you start trusting that person. But did we really think, till how long it goes? If you see some other situation where the behavior is not as expected and you lose that trust.

You hear someone else making some opinion about that person and your belief really gets affected. I heard people saying -> no, it's never like that, we just help each other to understand someone. Well, in a way it might be right. With me, it motivates bias behavior rather than a help in understanding someone. May be I am still learning not to get biased.

I feel keeping the trust untouched is really difficult and I am still learning. If I remember, one of the lessons one needs to learn is to TRUST. If I don't trust anything, how can I survive?
If for small materialistic things, I keep involving myself in loads of doubts and remain skeptic, how would that help me develop my trust?

I understand, one needs to be practical. But 'I' take most things in life from spiritual learning point of view. So, I believe that with experience I will learn. When I fail, I will definitely learn what to do next time. If I see only skeptic side of anything then I won't trust anything and in turn I won't achieve anything.


Well, that's all for now about trust. But I have many thoughts in mind, but need to put into words. May be some other time!

Positive Or Negative

I am not very positive person. But I know I have come out of the situations in a positive manner ALWAYS. Sometimes some situations take time and some does not. But I am sure the outcomes will be positive.

I know there are MANY people who are so good to me and so helpful to me. But what if I am making a choice of not accepting that help? Sometimes I choose suffering and hence I suffer. It is all my choice. But true thing is: I never wanted this suffering. And I have got it now. So now I don't see anything beyond this suffering. Why, when.. I keep on asking this questions. But no answers. I tried different people who can help me, but looks like life is pretty straight and just by me. Nobody can stand for/with anyone!!!

Good friends say they are with me, but I am sure no one can 'walk' with me for long. Is it that I am not trying? I AM, but the way I get failure, I get disappointed, They also get failure in explaining me something and convincing me about life. And they also get disappointed. I hurt those who try to help me. I do not value who try to help me and rather value what is not achievable anymore. If I think of 'NOW' then I should value those who are with me today. But what If I am choosing to think which brought happiness to 'my heart'? My present brings help and my thoughts bring the mix of love, enthusiasm,inner strength and big set of disappointing ideas. What do I do? Where do I go? I don't know... I don't know.

There is a great power on this earth, universal energy - they will help me. I am not alone. Even if I don't make the choice of living with those good friends, the universe is still with me. Of course when a soul is on earth, it's not alone. It is always helped by the angels. I am also helped by the angels.

I know that. I am so sad and so -ve today. But I am sure there will be one day when the world will stop and I will stop too. I will relax, take rest, analyze, enjoy the 'moksha' and will get ready to come back and start my world again. I do not want to see that phase of life where I see ONLY compromise.

I wish I will relax soon!!

Strength within, what else am I looking for?

Mountains and sky,
Form a high dream,

My thoughts and my attitude,
Can I achieve that dream?

"I have faith, I have trust,
within me, I feel love"
- wanna just follow it,
It is the secret of ALL.

This is by nobody, but me.
They say dream high, you will achieve high. I say love ALL, you will achieve ALL. :-)

Miles of distance, can be travelled through space, if we love. I believe so.

Does this post sounds too poetic? It's fun to think like a poet. It's a different feeling. Just feel it and enjoy it! Woooow!

Taking a blame

I started reading people's blogs, and realized that I have opened the account here long back.

I have a problem of thinking too much. I guess putting it into words is the best idea to get rid of thoughts. Hence this post!

One typical dialog, everyone must have heard - 'Marriage at this age?' :-) People have always a belief that they are so young. -- They find an excuse for escaping from a responsibility.

Now that was little offtrack. I don't wanna waste my energy in that. (In fact i heard many ppl saying it during last few days, so it was on mind)

Taking a blame - is that really worth?
OR let me say: "Nobody is responsible for anyone's mood"
Recently, I went for car driving lesson and while driving, I was thinking of others who are affected because of my slow driving as a learner. How stupid is that? If they are not happy with the way I am doing, they will change the route else it is their problem. Why do I blame myself for spoiling their mood.

People can make you feel anything that you dont want to believe in, if you get affected by their opinions. I used to get affected when ppl give some opinion about my some action. But now have realized that I am responsible for my action and not they.
You are released from unnecessary suffering the moment you release yourself from people's opinions. I am not saying that you don't listen to people. But don't let them control your mind/mood.

Now, taking a blame -For example, if I am going somewhere and I made my sister also join me. And someone has already called my sister to go to him/her and she forgot. Do I need to take that blame of spoiling that third person's mood? No I don't need to. Believe me, I met with such people who actually take such blames.

I am no one to bother what do people do by making such choices. But I also know that I am here with a purpose to fulfill. To learn lessons of helping people learning their lessons. And I don't want people to take blame and disrespect their own soul. A soul who can not respect and love his/her ownself, who else would he/she love/respect? will learn from whom? will teach wat?

I just want people to look little wider and free themselves. Hey people, Allow yourself to love, to love yourself, to love others, to believe that people can love you, they want to give all the respect you want. Just the matter of your permission.

Soul World

To become happy, why do ppl only think of the negative part of what they have not got and then try to console themselves? I can not argue with people who state that competition is the correct name for this type of comparison and that way only they can improve.

I used to see wrong/bad side of the matter and used to console myself for whatever I get. But down the line, I understood the purpose behind the existence. There is a meaning behind each and every event happening in life. I have become analyst in terms of understanding the right thing out of any matter. I am no more bothered by the ppl who try to bug me.

Everybody is here, to learn their own lesson as per their category and as per the maturity of their soul. World of soul is something like this: You enter the junior class together and then as per your deeds, you get to go ahead or you get to remain there only. Then when you learn what you have to, then only you go to senior class, then 1st standard, 2nd ... so on and so forth... There is only ONE level where everybody has to reach, EVERYONE. So, as per capability and as per awareness of an individual, one makes his own choices and accordingly he/she moves ahead. Highest level where we need to reach is full of love, trust, faith, hope, responsibility, empathy, knowledge ( it is not GK which we learn in this materialistic world), ability to console on our own , no grudges, no leg-pulling, no enviousness etc..(list can go on..). Most importantly, there is a BALANCE at this level. Imagine a flat mountain and we all start to climb it from the same ground level. Someone gets hurt, some one finds interesting stuff at some level and do not move ahead and do not learn what he has to.. some one passes through the same situation but do not learn, what has to be learned, then he will remain there. And at the highest level there is a big ground which is balanced.

"I think if one gets to know, understand and listen to the self inside him, then one can create an ability to make right choices to pass level to the next class. One is born detached, he has to remain detached. "

I agree to the statement -"We live in society, having relationships with ppl around us" But even then you need to get detached. Love your child, but get detached. Fulfill your responsibility with your own special learning in that relationship and then get detached. Everybody is born independent, responsible for existence and has some purpose and has to fulfill. Unless one fulfills the purpose, one can not leave the world. Ppl kill themselves, and their learning is not yet over, then they again get birth at the same level and start learning again. This is the way the chain goes on. I believe, we meet different people in our lives(irrespective of - we like them or not), who are indirectly helpful to us to achieve the lesson. It's up to us whether we learn right lesson out of that relationship or wrong. It's the matter of OUR choice.