:)

I exist. Rest are details.

(kidding...)
~KrupA

To-Do

My routine has become little boring and then I found myself approaching my come-back date so soon.

Any major eventful day and I start the countdown. Don't know why do I lose the present moment in day dreaming the coming moments. I guess need to change my approach. Well, I am not too much into day-dreaming, so it's ok enough :-)

However, small planning is always important part for any event. I have started packing my stuff, throwing unnecessary stuff and selling the liabilities. Canceling the services on my name is next task on my to-do.

Exact word - yes got it!! It's basically the 'To-Do' List.

Working in office also requires some decent and systematic approach. First thing that we do in office is to check emails and gather work and then prepare the To-Do List for that day. This list helps a lot to plan and meet the time line of each task. You finish the work and check it off the list.

Also, it gives an idea about how much work is pending, if we are not able to finish all tasks at the end of the day.

Everyone has different To-Do Approach and I tell you there are many ways to improve it. So keep an eye on everyone's approach and you will find the learning is unlimited.

~KrupA

Packaging ~ Is that the name?

I have been taking many medicines over the last 10-15 days. Also, was taking some instant-mix for soups. Well, I thought of something and found it interesting.

Every such thing that we buy, has the user-instructions. How to prepare or how much to take and how to cook or when to stop etc. Isn't that an interesting area of industry where people work to find the language and words to be most user-friendly and which conveys the exact meaning?

You take any item, starting food to electronics, you will find the instructions manual which is well versed in multiple languages (generally).

Alright, I know this is not something new. You already may be knowing it. But I wanted to say that it is that part of an industry which does not have name like software industry, hardware industry, manufacturing, interior decoration, construction etc (May be 'packaging' is the name for it, may be I only do not know it!)

Yenyways... how's life? :-)

(When you find that you are not able to write/talk much then ask a question and the conversation continues... ;-) ha ha...)

Cheers ~KrupA

Just because he took the cake first ~

That's why even the war started!

Cake is a dessert, supposed to be taken in the end. It was all placed nicely on the table along with the rest of the meal. What was the idea? Once we finish lunch, we could have that cake as a dessert.

We were some 6-8 people on one table and one person got the cake along with the food itself, thinking that 'let me reserve my piece of cake'. He felt insecure if the cake is over by the time he finishes the lunch. So far no problem! Now, Seeing him, other person felt insecure too, went and got his piece of cake. Seeing two people on the table reserving the cake for themselves caused insecurity to others too. (However, none of rest of us all went to get the cake at that time.)

Here the point is ~ One person's fear or insecurity contagiously affected the others. This is the reason I see how the war started after all. Huh! One country had power and bought the weapons. That one country just made itself secure by keeping weapons. This caused insecurity to the other and so on...Contagious, you know!!

Just because he took the cake first, just because he felt insecure at first place, others started feeling insecure by seeing his actions for keeping himself secure.

I do not know the solution, I guess that's just the choice that others have to make in such situation.

~KrupA

My latest crush

I know I know..Title is little misleading.

Anyway...
I am talking about my latest crush for a SONG.

After Masha Allah(and all other from the same movie) from Saawariya, Kitni baatein from Lakshaya, I am on to 'O Re Piya' from Aaja Nachle!

A song sung by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. What do I say about this song?

Listen to its beats and the way the dance is choreographed!
Look Madhuri in the song with her amazing expressions!

Listen to each musical instrument played in this song (the way it starts..I don't know what it is, but it is a distant instrument I feel.) I feel as if someone from the soul world of mine is calling me. ;-)

In between when Rahat ji sings 'Piyaa....' has so much depth in it.

I feel that this song has all the moods - First stanza is a generic mood, second stanza is about - when the love takes birth in one's heart and the third one gives the sad and complaining expression. Awesome na? One song, same beats same instruments and amazing Singer at his best again!!

This song and its dance is my latest Crush!!!!! Masha Allah!!! ;-)
If you have not heard it yet then go listen to this song TODAY ~

KrupA

जागी इक तमन्ना ~

अँधेरे से निकल के उजाले को ढूंढती,
सुबह के सूरज से, शाम की अदा संग बहेती;

हर गली से गुज़रती,
कभी आँधी तो कभी बरखा का पैगाम देती;

हर पत्ते को छू लेती,
फूलों की खुशबू हर दिशा महेंकाती,

खिलखिलाती हँसी की तरह,
आसमान संग उड़ के ख़ुशी फैलाने वाली;

चाहती हूँ मैं ऐसी बन जाऊ,
बेबाक अल्ल्हड़ पवन सी खो जाऊ!!

Last line of this poem above is taken from the song 'Masha allaah!' from Saawariya (of course!). I am just in love with that song. It's so soft and so deep, so clear and so profound :)

You can admire the song later, admire the poem right now ;-)

Love
KrupA

Alarm and me..

First shot is always snooze.. Shoots! It's NEVER happened in my life. I have never stopped the alarm at the first ring and gotten up. Never!

You know the mind? It just starts playing and calculating as first thing in the morning.

One day my colleague and I were talking about the alarm system and we thought how good it would be if we just let our body get up everyday naturally without any alarm. Without any rule!

I wonder, years ago, when in village, people used to get up per Sun timings, so naturally. And today, we have just become so rules-driven. Hmm!!! :(

KrupA

What is it.. I don't know..

It's been many days that I am not able to get satisfaction in many things that I do. For example, working, writing a blog, reading a blog, cooking, keeping my room clean and what not..

I am just not enough motivated since I am not keeping well. I think that's the reason it is said that if the health is good, everything else is good too. (There is a saying in Gujarati - "Pehlu sukh te jate narya" on the similar meaning.)

I had thought of keeping a good target for my blogging but unfortunately there is something which is pulling me back. I guess my own criterias for what to write and what not to write are holding me back.

I am continuously struggling with something on my mind. This is adding to my procrastination about every matter.

I am not sure why I am writing this here but felt like this is the best place .. the best tool for me to write it out...

KrupA

Legends and the fun!!

I was watching 'Bal Ganesha' movie. It's an animated movie about Lord Ganesha during his young days. (Bal means - young kid...) Basically, about Ganesha's adventurous deeds, the magical/powerful shows..

Let me say it in the beginning that, I do not intend to make fun of any religion or do not intend to hurt anyone's faith or trust in God Ganesha or any other God. But while watching the movie, and being in the software industry, I just got some funny thoughts.

Let me share.

During the movie, We hear many legends about Deva (Good) and Danava(Evil). I gather that Danavas used to do Tapa (intense meditation) and impress Lord Shiva and ask for the Bliss (Vardana). Shiva is THE Lord who gets impressed so easily (I have heard so...) and gives the Vardana that his devotees ask for.

Now here comes the climax. Shiva gives the Varadana and then the Danava becomes powerful and rules over the world. (At least, tries to rule over the world) He puts the Devas in the jail. Indra Deva (Deva of all Devas) always gets the best chance to escape from such evil deeds by Danava and runs to God Vishnu Or God Brahma.

There they discuss the issue and try to find the solution. But What's the point? It's like the leadership team, consisting of Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma, do not have proper communication amongst them then such day was bound to come. They give any blessing without discussing with other leaders about the feasibility. The Leaders, or shall I say management, should not have communication gap. Shiva goes and gives any access to anyone and then rest of the leaders sit and discuss how to remove that access. How stupid!! ;-)

And another interesting thing.. the stories of Lord also show that they used to lie to their mother many times ;-) For example, Ganesha used to lie to Parvati mata for Laddu (Sweet)and Krishna used to lie to Yashoda maiya for Makhan (butter)..(hey..am I giving any message? Nah!!..I did not say anything and you did not read anything.. ok?? ...Lol)

I find all that really funny...;-) Go watch such animated movie and then tell me how do you like it? :D

~KrupA

Our beliefs...

We always have some strong beliefs, don't we? We believe in them as our guiding principle, as our driving principle. And Trust me, it just becomes THE base of our lives.

But did you realize what is important here? Important is to stand strong with that belief in any condition, in any stormy situation of life.

They say, creating a relation takes a while, destroying takes even less, while maintaining takes lot more than you can ever expect. I find 'belief' as a similar thing. It takes a lot to stay firm on our belief.

When you find yourself shaken during some situations, find yourself in a need to be firm about your belief. Feel that you are being tested. Then it's up to you how to handle it to pass through the test.

"Believe in something and then have complete faith in it. It's the best test that we ever go through..."

Nah?!

~KrupA

Departure and random rambling...

I am going home in couple of days. Yes, still a month left for that. And I have been looking for this time so desperately for a year now.

Now since that moment is next door, I am feeling heavy about the time, place and people that I am leaving behind me.

And trust me, I am a very strong person when it comes to emotions. But the DEPARTURE is that emotion for which I still have to train myself :-) It is not fair to say that I am not happy for what is going to come after that departure. I am waiting for that time too.

However certain it seems, I am just heavy when it comes to departure. I can't say 'BYE' with a smile in my heart even if I wear a smile on my face. :(

I guess that is my next lesson to learn. Learn to say 'Good-bye' with a smile in heart!! I think, I will definitely work on it.

Something random is coming to my mind right now... Bear with me :) (Telling something to my life)

ज़िंदगी, तुजसे प्यार करु में,
आ, तुजे अपने हर कदम से जोड़ दू में;

मेरे अंदर एक ज्योति सी चमकती,
तेरी हर आरज़ू से नाता जोड़ लू में;

साथी मेरी, तू ही इक हमेशा साथ है,
ईश्वर की झोली से बरसता एक विश्वास है;

आँखों से बरसते हर वो मोती की तरह,
आ, तुझे हर हाद्से का हिस्सा बना लू मैं !!

आ!

Love,
KrupA

@ Shasta - Feeling Timeless

It's hard for me to say what time was the best one? When the Sun was up in the sky showering its bliss OR when the Moon had come out just for us to make us feel its divinity!! I felt as if the Sun and the Moon both are trying to enter the water to make it shine. And the water is ready to blosson with the stars of love by both of them..

Heaven on earth was what we all ended up calling it as...
Stars made of sun rays was what we ended up feeling it as...

चांदनी जिसे में आंखों से पीती रही,

मोहब्बत और इश्क के ख्यालों में खो गई;

कुदरत के स्पर्श को,
मैं अपने गालों पे महसूस कर रही;

सारे सपने जैसे मेरी झोली में आ गए,
दिल भर आया और सांसे रुकने लगी;
शायद बयान करने की कोशिश में हार जाउंगी, I better not describe the feeling this time...

It was Lake Shasta where we went and we rented the house boat and roam around on the water and enjoyed our 1.5 days on the boat.

The boat had every facility and was run by the engine (meaning we needed not any extra muscle-power ;-)). We had complete kitchen on it and beautiful company of music. Cool winter in California was pretty pleasant (of course with the thermals, otherwise I might had not returned in a condition that I can write here today ;-))

The best part was nothing that we had planned that we want to do on the boat and we ended up enjoying the nature and the company of each other along with lots of Picture-taking sessions. It was great and extra-great to enjoy with my very good friends.

This may be my last trip with these friends in USA before I go back to my sweet home country - India. I am glad that I enjoyed the moments that I had got in my hands.

Truly an Experience I will cherish always!!

Love,
KrupA

Happy Thanksgiving

Hello and Good morning to all,

Today is the Black friday, and the shopping mania is on.

People go early morning at 4:00 AM to find the best deals for the electronic things. It's fun to see people literally doing this to save some few dollars and enjoy the fact that they got something in a deal.
There is literally a long queue (I have heard! I have never seen, since I never went for it) :-)

I have a strong belief, that everything HAS to stay in Balance. If I am saving some money then it just goes away in something else. And I do not like the fact that I am losing money over the enjoyment of saving some money. So I do not go for any deals explicitly. ;-) (Stupid funda na!! ..Well that's how I am though)

This is particularly the holiday season. And I am going out of town to see a new place today. Will be back very soon. Will share the experience surely.. :)

Take Lotsa care..

Cheers~

KrupA

Exceptional Morning

Any fine morning when you get up and your throat is choked up, your nose is stiffy and your head is ringing the aching bells like anything with the body giving you high temperature feeling... how do you react?

Probably just like me. Get up, feel little restless and then make ginger chay and then take hot shower and feel fresh.

Well I am still at the restless state, still to get up and reach that fresh state. Please wish me that I get out of this physical uneasiness soon. I am going out of town for two days (Starting tomorrow), I want to enjoy every bit of it. Why am I saying this, is because, I have trouble due to Cold and there it is going to be EXTRA cold :(.

Right now, The weather here is 37 F (approx 3 degrees)..

~KrupA

Saawariya - When I watched..

A movie made by Sanjay Leela Bhansali - a very good director. I perceive him as a director who makes very big movies.

To me, Big movies mean - the set will be expensive and actors will be very experienced and hence expensive too, music will be extra ordinary, the choreography and cinematography will be outstanding, the costume of each character will demand the proper artistic attention and so on...

Extremely impressed by the music of Saawariya, I watched the movie.

The storyline is not realistic. You can say it's kinda fairy tale. But as I said, watching SLB's movie is an experience one must try.

I would not discourage the thought of watching Saawariya. However, try to see on the bigger screen. It's not fun on small screen like computer or TV.

Something about Actors - Ranbir and Sonam => For a debut movie, I found the acting worth appreciating. Not too sure about making an opinion about Sonam, since the movie is more about Ranbir (The Saawariya of the movie). I can say that he is well educated for area of acting.

Rani's role => She is a wonderful actress. She Always does complete justice to the kind of role she plays. She rules the complete range of acting - From serious-to-comedy-to-romantic-to-even a prostitute..

The Choreography => WOOOOOW!!
I just loved the dance steps.. they go very well with the music and do not even look like old styles. All dance crew was coordinating fantastically. You must watch the choreography of songs 'Chhel Chhabila' (by Rani), 'Yoon Shabnami' (by Ranbir, Sonam and the rest of dance crew). Gosh! it's awesome!!

Lastly, I am not too fan of Ranbir's face, but frankly - Overall he looks a very sexy package ;-) ;-)
Sonam is presented more an innocent, pagli girl which doesn't give her sexy look so no major comments for her.

Cheers ~
KrupA

Broken Promise

Last night I had made a promise to myself that I will publish one post for sure. Without doing so, I will not sleep.

:( I broke the promise with myself.

Don't know what was wrong with yesterday. Since morning I was feeling so sleepy. I felt as if entire universe/world was forcing my body to fall down in the bed.

And I slept!! But I am definitely trying to come back. Not writing a blog is causing frustration in my behavior, so I have to come back...

~KrupA

Uncondtional ~

Love & Commitment - so unconditional....

(Found a picture in one of the forwarded emails..could not resist sharing the expression that I felt after seeing this..)

Love

~KrupA

For my roomies so far...~

I am glad to meet with so many different people who have completely different background, culture, language.. (To me, We all have come from one universal life source!)

In my life so far, I have had a great pleasure of sharing the apartment with different people. However different background they had, all of them had one thing in common. Every one of them was (& is) so affectionate, very caring. They had a zeal to enjoy each other's company even if they had small fights sometimes.

Isn't it amazing the way we accept so many things in life? From complete strangers, we become so close to each other that when we depart, the heart can not resist crying.

Every moment during the growth of the relationship, it's like an adventure to know what's next. :-)

My Friend, my Roomie!

I have learned a lot from you,
Enjoyed each moment with you;

When I was sick,
You were my mother;

When I was mad & sad,
You became my soothing music;

When I was happy and crazy,
You danced with me on the tune of Now;

It was your love,
Which was motivating move;

How do I show my gratitude!

You know what? The BEST part of my roomies was - they always accepted me even if I cooked extra-sweet or extra-salty or extra-spicy food ;-)

I love you my friends - my roomies... :)

~ KrupA

I Love my life ~

... पल आ कर चले गए,
बीते लम्हे हँसी के पर्वत कर गए;
उड़ती हवा में वो आवाजेँ गूंजती रही,
:) बस यूँ समझों! की तमन्ना ठहर के चली गई...

How wonderful is the design of life! I was thinking it other day...

It's like you meet people, go to a new place, you start enjoying, you feel the world is awesome...
Then the path changes, you depart, you feel skeptic about it and unhappy about it...
Eventually, you understand, adjust, feel comfortable and then start enjoying it again...

Cycle never stops in a lifetime until you die.

I love it! I love my life ~ it is so full of events ...

~KrupA

Dandiya night... yeay....!!!

I am going for Dandiya tonight.. and I am so excited.

I am all set and ready to rock on the Garba & Dandiya beats.. The Gujju Blood is all flowing high in my body right now :) ;)

Yippee..... However it will be... I think one thing is sure.. I am going to enjoy.... :) :)

Cheers...

KrupA

Relations ~

रिश्ते - बड़ी नाज़ुक होती है ना उनकी तार? कितना भी गेहरा रिश्ता क्यों ना हो, लेकिन जब निभाने की बात आती है तब उसे निभाना दोनो तरफ से होता है! एक तरफ़ा रिश्ता, कोई रिश्ता ही नही...

जिंदगी कितनी ही कठिन क्यों ना हो, लेकिन वफादारी हर पल कायम रखनी होती है!

जाने क्यों, पता नहीं लेकिन जब भी खुद को ऐसे हालात में देखती हूँ की रिश्ता सिर्फ अपनी तरफ से निभाए जा रही हूँ तब दिल रो देता है! कुछ अर्थ नही लगता साथ बिताये पलों का॥

Relations can become a strength and it can be the weakness also ~ It's up to us what we want it to be!

Na???

~KrupA

The Slam book fun ~

Change is so constant. It is just not avoidable. I am changed a lot over last couple of years.

Anyways, the post is not about Change but about the ways to pass time during young days, during student life. Maintaining Slam book with MANY friends' information was one of many ways. (Can you believe, wiki has an entry for this also....!! huh!!)

Last weekend I was reading my Slam book. The Slam book is a funky book. It contains many questions - like "Your name, address, phone number, favorite movie, book,place, crush,etc.. " And also it contains one question at the end "Your feelings/views about me". This used to be a good time pass when people depart from each other, they express what that friendship meant to them and bla bla bla... ha ha..

All that senti-menti stuff.. some mature, some immature. Some funny and some serious.

When I was reading my slam book, I found that I was carrying one common personality that everyone used to perceive as. They wrote for me that "You are a very caring, fun-loving and bubbly personality. You are a great friend, but don't get emotional about small things in life." It was ONE Phase of 'me'.

But yea.. I am still that friendly person. Changed in many other ways. (I am doing the same with you that I mentioned in my post here.) ;-)

Now Go and read your Slam book. Trust me! you will laugh a lot. (I am sure someone else must be laughing at what I have written in their slam books .. lol..)

Cheers ~
KrupA

'Saawariya' - Sanjay Leela Bhansali & great MUSIC !!

I am sooo against those people who say - Nowadays the music is not that good as compared to old days.

I respect the current singers and the music composers as well. There are tons of albums which are just GREAT!!

I am in love with MANY singers, their talent, their voice and the music director too. If I have to choose the Best album or song or singer, I bet I can't do that. It's darn difficult.

The latest one that I am listening to is "Saawariya" - Bollywood movie by Sanjay Leela Bhansali.

All the singers are at their BEST. Richa Sharma, Kunal Ganjawala, Shreya Ghoshal, Shaan, Sukhwinder Singh, Parthiv Gohil & Shail Hada (I did not know about these two singers earlier.. seems new ones) --- Wooooooow...

Superb...!! Romantic, Classical, Mischievous, Pain.. Everything in its songs. Just because of the songs - I am certainly looking forward for the movie release.

~KrupA

MUST READ - "KrupA is Thankful to ya all"

Brief History - I started writing Blog a year ago. That time I was pretty much private and did not really have any reader for my blog. I was Quite Closed, I would say.

Long Present - Over a year's time, I have grown in my writing and I am happy about it. I am sure, still there is a vast scope of improvement and I AM working towards it. (Trust me!)

One thing about my writing - which you may have observed is that I have always written something of my own. Yes, I started blogging because I wanted my thoughts to be worded.
However, last month, I checked my posting statistics. Note that, I also checked the posts that I had published on AllJustLove & Routinetalks Blogs of mine. That's right - I was writing on three blogs earlier(including the current one). But I closed those two and just continued on this one where with the use of 'Label' it is easier to categorize the posts.

When I was checking on the statistics, I found that I am out of pocket by 20 posts to reach to the number of '100'. The number means THE effective posts, according to me, of course. I set the target for myself at the start of September, 2007 that I will make the century by end of September.

The target did not seem tough to me considering the popping thoughts on my mind. However, as I said in this post here, it is mood-dependent. I was pretty positive about achieving the target though.

This target gave me a different feeling of staying active and it was fun on my mind all the times. I could not resist to tell you about it but the exam papers can not be shared until the exam is over. So....

Anyway, Still, I did try to describe my emotion at that time by this post - Indian Cricket Match ;-) Stay Tuned. That time it was some 14 posts left and 18 days were left in the month of September. :)

You know what? While making up the insurance policy for people, if the Agent is short of 1 or 2 policies for his target at the end of closing of the year,Then he tries to buy few small policies in his own house :D (basically adjusts it inhouse to make sure his job is not gone :))

I did somewhat similar thing (kinda cheating) to achieve the target of 100 by the end of the month. The posts "Everything is just 'He' " & 'दोस्ती के नाम ~ " are the poems that I had written when I was studying in college. They are in my collection book. But I posted them here to reach my target. :( :( :( Sorry..... I am bad.. But If I define the target then the rules 'can' be defined by me too.. ;) Nah..?? :)

Blogging is a totally different world and I enjoy blogging. Today, I have gathered a small group of readers who are my regular readers. I am grateful to all of them who have been really nice to me and more or less always given me the feed back in the form of a comment. A comment is a very motivating thing for a blogger.

Thanks to you all. Because of you I had the motivation to do something exciting like keeping a target.

Creations have no meaning if there is no user for it.

Thank you again! I celebrate my century in blogging.

Love
KrupA

Everything is just 'He'

He created my past,
By reminding me the days I have passed;
He gives me the present,
By taking me in the world of dreams - my eyes have parsed;

He is the one I've never seen such,
He is the one I'll never find such;
He is too nice that can not be described,
He is very caring that can not be measured;

He makes me laugh everyday,
And inspires me to grow day by day;
He makes me cry often,
By leaving me alone in my dreams even;

He made me see the world so beautiful,
He made me live the life so wonderful;

He gave music to my heart, like promising -
- -"Will never leave you my sweet heart";
If he leaves me & goes too farther apart,
It feels as if my soul departs;

I've never said this to him, but want him to know,
That this is not enough, but there is more;
He is my everything and will be my future,
The day is not far when he'll confirm --

"You are my dream girl & that is for sure!".

~KrupA

दोस्ती के नाम ~

जिंदगी में बनते है कितने रिश्ते,
जिनमें से एक है सब से खास,
to आज ये कलम ( eKalam)उसी रिश्ते के नाम,
जिसको दिया है लोगों ने 'दोस्ती' का नाम!!

जिंदगी में बहोत से है सवाल,
जिनकी बस उलझी हुई है तार;
उन सवालों के होते है खास जवाब,
जो मिले है हमें कुछ दोस्तो के पास!

जिंदगी में मिलते है कई लोग,
जिनमें से कुछ बन जाते है खास;
तो ये छोटा सा पैगाम उन्ही के नाम,
जिनको दिया है हमने 'दोस्त' का नाम!!

~kRUPa

It's about me.. or may be it's about them..:-)

I think, I must tell you one thing that I have got great friends. Specially those who know me quite well.

Why do I say so? Because They literally tolerate me up to a great extent. ;-)

If I cook something or make Chay (tea) or even just mix the milk and sugar, then the first person to praise it would be 'me'. ;) I would say a very nice set of words to praise it that other person who will try it - HAVE to say good about it. If I buy something, the first person to admire the color or functionality of that new thing will be 'me'.

And a practical scenario will be - I will go and offer the food that I have cooked to everyone and say "Try it.. come on.. it's really nice. Just try a byte" (ha.. ha.. ) They will know who has cooked it and why am I offering it so hard. :D

My friends have started telling me that I do not leave the scope for the other person to say good about something related to me or about myself even. I will say good things about me all the times. ME - the great ;)

Over last few days, I obeserved and I must admit that they are so true. :D Good Lord! They are awesome friends :) that they accept me like that. They know that I can't stay without talking good about me. ha ha... It's funny.

To tell ya the truth - They also don't leave a chance to make fun of me. Not even a single time. So, with that it is compensated. :) They make fun of me and I make them tolerate me. It's justice, isn't it?

"परस्पर सहकार की भावना से हम जीते है"

~KrupA ;-)

Right Mood

My writing is quite a lot mood driven. Staying emotionally balanced is very necessary to write something healthy.

My friend, my roomie has left and has gone back to India. I was staying with her for more than a year and she is a fantastic person I've known. I was going through the mix emotions. One side it was the present moment which was to be enjoyed as much as possible with her while on the other side the thought of her departure was just taking control over.

Anyway.

Basically, at any point of time, I have more than one thing to write about I feel. But somehow if the right mood is not set then writing it with the right impact - doesn't work. How does it work with ya?

~KrupA

उम्मीद

Departure is so certain!
Still there is a hope-

झरने की तरह नदी में घुलने की उम्मीद,

बादल की तरह बरस कर,

ज़मीन से मिलने की उम्मीद;

शब्दों से जुडी एक कवि की उम्मीद,

रंगो से जुडी उस कलाकार की उम्मीद;

लफ़्ज़ों में बंधी गीतकार की उम्मीद,

साँसे खोनेवाले के लौटने की उम्मीद!
:(
सिर्फ 'उम्मीद' ही है लेकिन~ Like a mirage कहे तो और क्या कहे?
KrupA

Tsk..Tsk.. The System tooo???

Can't Resist telling you about it.

This has happened earlier also. But today was the height of all.
I am trying to run some program in background and monitoring it. (It is called background job.)
It is not ending.
I thought it's just taking little more time, may be I can finish my other small task by then.
I finished other task but the job is still not ending. Let me check the logs.
It doesn't show up anything. (What's wrong?!?) Sigh!!!

There is a Team called Environment Managers(EM) team which takes care of the environments (read SAP R/3 systems).
I sent them an email with many screen shots in it. I expected some delay in even opening my email. I kept my supervisor in 'CC' list to increase little weight of my email. (Otherwise, who cares to open my email? )
I sent (another) email with 'high' importance.
After sometime, they said - "There doesn't seem to be any problem. If you try now, may be it will work"
And you know what? It worked!!

I don't understand what's happening and what's wrong. I accepted that bitter possibility that the system doesn't like me and then tried running the programs. After one successful execution, when I thought everything is alright and back, up again, the system showed up similar problem.

Bummer...............

I sent (one more) email and I literally wrote these words -
"I think, {system} doesn't like me anymore and wants 'EM(The Doctor of the system)'s attention' again. "

Latest update - The system is still not up for me. I could see the EMs having their tea in the building and roaming here and there to check their other work with other people.

:( My email is not being looked upon, I guess.

This is the proof that the humans don't like to work for my problems nor the system likes me anymore. :-( :-(

kRUPa

The 90/10 Principle

Just remembered one article that I had read some day, thought let me share it here.

Stephen Covey has mentioned in the 90/10 Principle --
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

I believe in that principle completely as it is (so) practically proven. If I look back in my life - those major events, then I realize my own attributes, characteristics and learnings are based on/derived from my reactions to those major events and NOT from the events.

Many times, You hear yourself saying - 'since then' my life has changed. I have become this, become that... Those are the same moments that I am talking about.

Let me try if I can give some minor examples ~

When someone had scolded me about something, how did I take it?

• This can show, How open am I for criticism?
• How positively do I take the face-to-face said negative words about me?

At work, when someone got a promotion and I did not. How did I take that entire scenario? Did I try to analyze what was missing in me and improve on it?

• My reaction in such circumstances can give the hint about how different do I think?
• How do I tackle with the misleading negative emotions (Jealousy, Envy..)?
• How calm and controlled am I?
• How do I remain focused towards the right lessons in that situation?

In addition, there are many emotional milestones you face in life where you think that it is changing you from the core. Your beliefs are changing, your priorities are changing. You realize that you mature in those moments.

:) Isn't it true with you too?

!~ KrupA ~!

Say 'No'

I have been thinking about management as an independent topic for quite sometime now. (Why this post today? Read the post-logue at the end of the post :-))I believe that 'People management' is most difficult task. It is difficult for various reasons.
It deals with different individuals all the time. It has to deal with the people with different nature, different attitude, different emotion at different point of time. So It's totally dynamic.

If it's a resource management, where the resource doesn't have emotion then you know what kinda nature that resource has and you have study and researches to support it. There can be rules defined for how to manage it. However, it is not that static and predictable when it comes to people as resources.

I am not a manager but I have some things on my mind and I wanna put them here. One of the Important management attributes is to - Say 'No'. A good manager must know how to say No for something and still retain the same relation.

If the situation demands being rude then the manager must know to use the right set of words which are sophisticated enough to convey the right message of denial.

If the situation has quite sensitive topic under discussion then the manager must maintain the gentle behavior which should rightly be reflected in his words. And as said, the relation should still be maintained.

Being a resource, this is what I would expect my manager to understand. He can not allow me to do or demand 'any'thing. He must know how and when to say No. It is sure, that his refusal for my request, will disappoint me but If I can still feel the respect for that manager and have the faith in him then that means he succeeded in conveying the denial in a right manner.

[Opposite of 'Prologue' ;) - I saw one of my friends being called for charity work everywhere by many people. I felt bad. I did not like the fact that he could not say No to anyone and had to suffer. People should not buy comfort and convenience on the cost of someone who is good and gentle by nature and can not say (damn) No to someone. This incident triggered the post-topic today. Though I talked about it as a general management attribute, it is equally important in our general life. Ultimately, we deal with People with different emotions at different point of time.]

P.S: I know that there is no word like post-logue. I created one ;-) !

~KrupA

Frozen mania

I still remember those days when, in India, we don't eat food of more than 1.5 days. We cook every time fresh and then eat fresh food. I never used to eat left-overs.

Today, I see myself and I feel sad. In US, there are 90% of things that we eat, are Frozen. We use Microwave for anything to everything. Reheating the food is absolutely Common. Any damn weekend, I don't feel like cooking as there is some Frozen Ready to eat available in my freezer.

I hear the arguments by people - who has time to cook everyday in the busy life here? I don't disagree that life is busy. But that doesn't mean that I accept the indirect argument as in India, we have lots of time to cook. Eventually it's the same number of hours(24 hours) in a day. It has same number of 'working' hours in India too. In fact, to my experience, sometimes, there is much more time spent while commute in India. People still cook fresh everyday.

Anyway, I am not really trying to stress on why people cook fresh in India and not in US. The discrimination wasn't really what I was trying to put forth.

I think, there is a lot of Frozen food mania around. The option of getting frozen food is not doing any good to me. It is making me more lazy to cook. It doesn't give me nutrition of fresh food. It doesn't give me good fresh taste of food. Basically, no good on the cost of saving time.

I don't like this maniaaaaaaaaaaa. (I am not saying I don't have choice to cook fresh everyday, but it's not happening as there is such stupid option in front of me. I wanna change it. No more frozen food. I hope I can change it)

~KrupA

One more Philosophical idea of mine

I am sure you will agree with me on this one.

It gives you immense pleasure

- When you do something to make someone smile,

- When you put efforts to do something surprising for someone and you find that someone is extremely pleasantly surprised.

There were times when my friends or my family have done something for me and I have felt great about it. But the happiness is multiplied when I do something for someone. Someone who is my Best friend, someone who's really close to my heart.

I think, it is in our nature to make our closed ones happy, To do things which can keep the sadness away from them. Sometimes we forget that and we start expecting others to do something for us. And I have a point there - Don't do something because that person has done something for you, rather do it for what that person is.

Recently, I surprised one of my friends here (who is leaving and chances are less that I get to meet her again) and she was touched by that expression and asked "What have I done so great that I deserve so much affection from you" to which my answer was: "You ARE just awesome person, you don't need to DO anything to deserve something".

Similarly,We should be good and behave good in life with loving attitude and GOD (that powerful positive energy) , someday, will feel like helping us in our good endeavors. We don't need to do something explicitly for Him. We just need to be ourselves.

At the Least, This is My philosophy:

"Be yourself and Be good to one and all, Great things will automatically happen to you! "

~kRUPa

!~! Worded Feelings !~!

तनहाई आज फिर से रोई,
चीख चीख साँसे फिर थम गयी,

कभी तमन्नाओ की मेहफिल सजी थी,
बेपनाह आज धड़कन की गुज़ारिश हुई;

सुबह सजी ख्वाबों की नाव,
जिंदगी के तूफान में शाम सी डूबी ;

कितना समजाऊ इस दिल को,
जब जिंदगी बेरंगी हो गयी!!

Trying to put emotion in words for the time when a person is struggling to create motivation to live life and in that struggle when that person faces (ups and) downs.

~KrupA

Expérience à Restaurant

Maximum times when I am in a restaurant, I have nothing much to talk. I am not too talkative person (anymore), specially when there is a social meet or Professional meet.

How to pass time in the restaurant? One thing is sure - Once you place the order for food, it is going to take 20 mins (at the minimum) to serve the order. 20 minutes is such a long time to pass when you have not much to talk about.

Sometimes, I feel as if time is frozen and I go even more restless. I end up playing with the things that are placed on the table. For example, I play with the knife, fork, plate, salt, pepper. This is not enough of course. I generally order Water-with-No-ice.

(I learned this term in American restaurants. Earlier, I used to say Water-without-ice. I don't really see the difference except the other person understands the formal better.) They give a straw to drink water. (God knows why do they need a straw to simply drink water from a glass!) I play with the straw Also.

Have you done any Chemistry classes in Science during your high school? There is a

pipette in the laboratory which you use to extract water or any other chemical fluid as one drop at a time. (I had forgotten the word 'pipette' but Thanks to Girish who helped me find the right word and he is my friend who thinks wikipedia is GOD and gives wiki entry for anything to everything and anywhere to everywhere, so this link is dedicated to you Girish :-P)In the restaurant, I try to use that learned concept and use the straw as a pipette to drink one drop at a time. Sheesh!!! I am just a messy around. If I take some juice then drinking it the way I described, becomes quite ill-mannered, ain't it? (But do I care? well frankly, I do, if I am at a Professional meet, but not otherwise ;-))

Okay, playing is also done. For how long am I going to play with those things which are not toys but the things used when we eat? Note that Smiling and laughing, in between, during conversation is a continuous task. Multitasking you know!! ;-) All these activities, still don't pass all 20 minutes. Frustrated and tired of smiling, I decide to excuse myself from that place and go visit the restroom OR I start staring more at the waiter/waitress who had taken our order, hoping that they can read my eyes.

The food arrives and then everyone (who was continuously talking during those 20 minutes, who did not even have to think about passing the time) says - "Worth a wait! Food looks nice!" And I say - Nothing! I simply start eating. :P

Cheers ;-)
KrupA

Dreadful it was - a Dream

I had a very bad dream last night. I was lost at a place where it was quite dark and there was no commute available. I had money to give to anyone who can take me to my destination, but unfortunately there was none who could give me a lift.

I was trying to find the right direction where I can get the transport facility. I reached a place where there were many men standing in front of each other - like in 2 lines facing each other and between them only a gap enough to pass for one person. They were no one else but people who do business of girls. Who sell girls in the market, basically, body business. I was trying to pass from there as I had no other way to go to.

I don't know what happened during the night, and morning I see myself as an escape who realizes, has been raped. I saw some little girls playing and I was trying to get some clothes from them to put on and to run even farther away from that place. I was devastated and broken. Crying like hell and feeling dead like a stone.
Seeing a fairly bright day and a road (like a highway), I ran towards that direction and the dream was broken.

This dream was completely dreadful. I can not be afraid of any Ghost in a dream or any Ghost in reality than such a possibility in real life. A possibility to be raped! I am sure people who have suffered from this pain, know what does it mean. I can not feel that pain completely, but to be frank, I am scared of that dream also. I never want such dream.

This caused a question in the mind, why someone rape some unhelped soul? What do they get? Don't they understand what does it mean to respect someone and not forcefully ruin one's life? Do they even know what is life?
Do they even realize what 'Karma' they are creating by doing such an awful and atrocious deed?

I don't know what else to say. I am still terrified by my dream and that thought of a possibility.

Wish - things improve. Don't know how!

~KrupA

Indian Cricket Match ;-) Stay Tuned

Did you ever feel tensed or worried when India played Cricket match Final against South Africa/Australia (basically a strong Team) where India needed 14 runs from 18 balls?

I am feeling that tension right now. I am sure this won't make sense right now. But stay tuned, Let India win and I will tell you what is this about ;-)

Go India ---

ha ha..

kRUPa

A writer

What defines a writer? I was wondering.

Long ago, I had got this feedback that I should write in a way that a person who is reading it, can 'feel' what I have written. If I have written a poem, a person should be able to feel the depth of each word.

I had taken that quite seriously. I have been trying to improve my writing by doing proof-reading (many times) and making sure that the meaning is being conveyed in its right manner.

Recently, I was given a feedback as I have not written about Love when I claimed to try to write about. It was a straight forward opinion.

It was shocking and disappointing, BUT, that is exactly my aim when I say I want to excel in writing - I want to write in a way that every single person who's reading my post can feel the 'right' purpose behind the post, can feel the right meaning of the words used. I wish to see that day soon!! (I need to study more about how to write, I guess)

~KrupA

* Of the Day

They say:

"SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ARE DREAMERS"

No wonder, I am not getting dreamless sleep.

;-)
Cheers~

Love For a Partner (Longest Post ever)

I write about Love and I am always in favor of any relationship which has a base of love and hence some people asked me, recently, to define Love. I was wondering how would I define it. I am still not sure how should I define it.

However, I thought let me start putting together all the ideas of Love that can come to my mind. This post can be one of those posts which will talk about Love. So if you don't feel like reading about Love, this post is not for you ;-) :-)

There are numerous forms of Love and even more forms of expressing that Love. Love for a partner is one of those. While I am thinking of definition of Love, I thought let me use different way to write down the thoughts here.

'Think' (Don't assume or believe :-)) of me as a person seeking a 'he' partner where I describe here what would I love him for ~
I would love him:
1) For the Friend in him

• The friend who, at times, will scold me when I go wrong or negative in life.
• The friend who, at times, can become the source of motivation in anything I do.
• The one, who will laugh with me when we are doing any fun activity
• Be it watching some photographs
• Be it watching a movie together
• Be it sitting in the balcony and gossiping (don't think that gossip is the word only for women, mind you, it is a Generic word)
• Be it any stupid joke that we crack on anything or anyone
• The one whose eyes will have the expression of pride when he finds me achieving something
• Be it Project success
• Be it a degree certification
• Be it a dance or any talent competition in a community meeting or any social function
  
• The one who will try to accept me for what I am BUT always there to help me change myself for the good. (I am always open for the change, I don't believe that one shouldn't change for anyone)

2) For the father in him - No, I am not saying father of my kid, instead 'my' father. When, few of the times, if I am upset about something, he will know it and come and 'discuss' with me with his fatherly advice about the matter.

3) For the mother in him - When I am sick or not keeping well, he will shower the motherly care on me. When he comes to me with his capability to nurture me in a way that helps me grow in all aspects of life, all responsibilities.

4) For the Protector in him - Even though when he knows that I can manage my safety, he tries to express his love and care by taking care of my safety. (Mind here, he should not get clingy about it though. )

5) For the kid in him - who becomes crazy when he sees someone playing a video game. When he puts his towel anywhere after shower, when he denies to get up early and needs the motherly love/motherly spanking ;) to wake him up.

6) For the man in him -

• Who satisfies me for my physical needs
• Who has passion when he's making love to me
• Who has enthusiasm in making our relationship grow better each day, just like, I may have.
• Who can make my day, for example, by just kissing on my forehead and say the simple words "I Love You" Or "Take care" with the pure emotion in his eyes. (I am not asking this should be a routine, but the feeling should be strong one whenever he expresses it)
  

7) For the self-confidence that he carries with him but still carries the need of my support which can make him feel complete & similarly which I can look up to him for.

8) For the support that he gives me when I am emotionally down. For the empathy that he carries in his heart for people.

9) For the spirit of enjoying the life to the fullest with each moment in hand.

10) For the respect that he would give me for my way of loving people, our parents, our family.

How Perfect does this sound! As if I am in a dream world and thinking that one can get all these in one person. Of course, it is also understood that a person can not be in all/many roles at a time but he can be in at least one of the roles at one time.

Trust me, we all are capable to be perfect for each other with the sense of mature-adjustments in us. If we understand each others' needs, we can change our selves to make each other happy.

Life is not all about 'me' and what "I" need, rather it is about Love that we all need and about the Love that we all shower.

I wrote about 'he' partner but could you not relate to what your partner should be like?

It is not certain, that I get such a partner or you get such a partner or we get to meet the perfect partner. But have faith and be sure that you understand that things happen for a reason so you better learn to accept your life and grow in Love.

~kRUPa

One Random कल्पना

वो पत्ते पर पानी की बूंद,
अँधेरा जैसे घने बादलों का,
हवा में वो ठंडी नर्मी,
आँखो से बोलती हुई,
हर वो आर्ज़ू की केहनी;

His Lips,
Holding unseen dewdrop,
Like the bed of warmth,
Like the cushion so soft,
Lord! never wanna forget its deep touch!

कुदरत के खुबसूरत रंगो में
उसकी अदाएं झलकती है,
झाँक के देख लू उसकी आँखो में,
जिंदगी जैसे जावेदा सी लगती है;

His Eyes,
Where Promises seem never ending,
Where Dreams are unlimited,
That Takes me away with its charisma,
Now I am all drowning in his enigma.

:) One more Random creation.. I like to mix हिंदी and English.

~kRUPa

Toll Theft

About a month back, I was going to San Fransisco. On that road I have pay toll at one place. There are several lanes out there. (Almost 10 lanes)

To save people's time, every single system is trying to improve by making use of technology. There are few lanes which are not operated by humans. It is called Fast Track Lanes (operated by some company I guess). The sticker that you may put on your car is scanned by some scanners out there and then you can just pass through those fast lanes where no one interrupts you.

When I was getting closer to the lanes, I did not realize that I am approaching the fast track lane . I wanted to change the lane. Somehow, due to the continuous honks by the car behind my car, I kept moving little bit forward and at one time I reached the place where I could not change the lane and I was made to pass through the fast track lane. Now, this is called as a Violation, Theft of toll.

I was so upset about it and was sure that I will get some letter at home about this and I might have to pay some fine.

Finally, I received it last weekend and then I paid that fine online. The funny part of this sad story was - When I made the payment, I received an email of confirmation which had following sentence -

"Dear XXXX,

Your Violation payment has been processed successfully.

Thank you.

We appreciate your Business!"

Sigh!!!! Ironic.

(To be frank, I am exaggerating ;-)) They did not say '...appreciate business...'

However, the letter that came to my house had some funny words as "If you are violating it first time then open your account online and make the payment." etc..

My day ended with a mix emotion where one side I thought, thankfully I got rid of the unknown-fine-amount suspense while on other side I had to make the payment for some violation. The violation which was, of course, unintentional. But A crime is a crime! You have to pay the price always. I had to pay too and So I did!

~KrupA

The good that happened - About Plane journey

I described the plane journey earlier and now after sitting at different locations in the plane I think I have found the best place in the plane.

Business/First Class is not something that I will talk about, because that's not my cup of tea :-)

Where Economy class starts, the first row and the aisle seat. It is the best location for various reasons.

• If you want to go to the restroom, you can go without disturbing anyone.
• There is a lot of Leg space in the front as there is a significant gap between the business and economy class.
• If anyone else in the same row, wants to go to the restroom then you don't even have to get up. They can pass by so easily.
• The crew-service for drinks, also starts from there and you don't have to wait for long for the drinks.
• When the flight lands - you can very quickly come out of the plane. (Which I am sure everyone wants to do. I hate to wait in the plane to get out of it) In such situation, if you have not checked-in your luggage then you can come out of air-port so quickly.

Above were those few valid reasons that I could give.

Whenever you have a choice to change the seat then try the location that I recommended here.

(By the way, my return journey was really smooth - which is unlike my every other experience)

~KrupA

Yeah.. it is plane journey..

Of course, I am publishing this post asynchronously because I did not get the internet connection during plane journey, but it is all written during the plane journey.
Read below~

Currently in a flight-travelling. The plane journey is one thing that I hate the most in this world. The shortest time is taken by journey by air but worst is the space provided in the plane.

I absolutely enjoy the take-off and landing part of the journey. I am always thrilled to see the way the plane tires just get into air when it takes-off. When the flight lands, it is again fun to feel the touch of the land. I do enjoy it.

But rest of the journey inside the plane, Ah!! I hate it. Now there are various reasons that I hate it for:

• There are many things and facilities that are un-discovered by me in the plane and I don’t feel the freedom to even discover it. I always feel that I might do something wrong.
• The flight-crew never-ever serves water as a default-serving. You have to ask for it. Sigh!! (You have to ASK for WATER!!)
• When the crew comes and serves the food or drinks, they never tell you what all they have. They assume you are the frequent traveler and then if you ask for options, they tell you some few drink names and (always) sitting at the window seat, I end up saying either sprite or water-with-no-ice. (By sitting at window seat I mean that I can not ask many questions and disturb other people)
• There is very little leg-space. And “I” never get to expand my seat-backwards to make it more comfortable because the person behind me is always doing something and unfortunately, the person in front of me always has pushed his seat backwards. I think I just get some space to survive and hence I always wish the flight duration should be very minimal.
• Yeah, another thing I forgot to mention. Whenever I enter the flight and open the cabin to put my luggage, I don’t find space there. Even though I reach the airport so-in-time, I get no freedom to put my luggage properly.

Okay, today, there occurred a funny incident. I was sitting in the first row in economy classs area which starts where the Business area ends. The staff had just started serving drinks. I wanted to go to the restroom but they were in my way to the restroom, they told me to use the rest-room on business class side. Well, frankly, when she told me to use it, I assumed it is normal to use that restroom. However, it was assumption and it turned out to be a false one. J When I went second time, she let me use it but when I came out she, politely, told me to use the economy class restroom :D..lol..

Well, this wasn’t enough. We see people and derive more assumptions ;-) The fellow, sitting in my row also thought it is okay to use that restroom. (Of course, he did not see that lady telling me not to use it.. ha ha..) So he also went there and then finally the staff member came and closed the partition between economy and business class.

I enjoyed that incident ;-). However, if I am sitting in business class then I would not bother about someone from economy class-using the restroom. How does it matter? The person using it is a well-mannered human. Anyways, I guess it’s the crew’s duty to make sure rules are followed.

I am still some half an hour away from my destination. I wish it gets over sooooooon.

(After few minutes) I just came back from using the restroom in economy class and frankly there was not difference except the way the door opens (;-)). But let me add one more point to the list of things that I hate in the flight.

When you want to go to the restroom and the restroom is occupied, you end up standing in the middle waiting. It is ridiculous when the rest of the people look at you as you wait to relieve yourself from some pressure ;-) ;-)

Anyways.. Long post about something that I hate. How stupid! I should write more about things that I like, shouldn’t I? :-)

Have fun..

~Love
KrupA

Is blogging your face?

I was wondering other day about how the world would perceive me? I think the world does perceive me the way I project myself via blogging. (World means whoever reads my blog ;-))

For me, I always believed, blogging could be your own thoughts(as in what you believe in) or your imagination or your creativity. It doesn't necessarily need to be the mean to judge a personality. But the reality is - People do create your image in their minds from the way you write. (I guess that's natural!)

I say it can be your imagination, however, there still is a catch in blogging. You still have something in common in your posts. It just gives an idea about general attitude of a personality.
- If someone writes philosophy - may be that person does a lot of analysis (*could be unnecessary analysis as well :-))
- If someone writes funny - may be that person doesn't really feel comfortable in mushy situations.
- If someone writes sad or angry stories about the system or the movies, you can make out the person's passion in life, how much that person looks motivated in life. etc..
There can be thousand different perceptions about this.

But Do you think, can blogging create your -ve or +ve image?

Unfortunately, (I think) it can. But I don't want it that way :-(

~KrupA

Taking Granted Part - II

I was talking about taking time for granted and losing the time that you have in your hand.

Take this one:
You are bored of doing something, planning something, or even joining others in their plan.
You think it's ok to let go. May be some other time...
Of course, it is a good idea to take a break from routine, from people and spend relax, lazy time, time when you do nothing. Such breaks help in getting you closer to yourself. But if you almost always do the same thing just because you are not enough motivated to do something, then you are losing the time, the opportunity. You may not realize at that time, but after few years or few months, you will repent for the same thing. You'll feel "Oh!! wish, I had done that", "Wish, I had gone there, with them and enjoyed.." You lost that time and Now, today, you are sitting in a chair thinking, repenting for the lost time.

How many times you have sat and talked about the happy and joyous time spent together? How many times you have genuinely cherished the school time, college friends, movies, picnic, tours?

The list can be bigger, if you remove that boredom-block. If you realize that the time you are getting is for a reason then you won't lose it. If you don't take time for granted then you will know the value of time.

The bitter fact is you are going to lose all your friends, family one day (when we have taken birth, we are going to die) - Why are you taking this uncertain life for granted so much and losing the Now? Why?

I am surely sounding like a preacher in last two posts, but do you think I care if you call me a preacher? :-) Well, certainly if you matter to me, I am sure you will take my preaching positively. I trust you.

I might still come up with another part on the same topic, not sure though. But for today, this is it.

Take care and Enjoy!!

kRUPa~

Taking Granted Part - I

Many times we take so many things for granted.

We take our lives for granted. We take time for granted.

We think that we have got enough time to plan and enjoy something which we can do in this present moment.

Did retrospection and I realized, how many moments I lost with this assumption that I still have time to do that. "May be next year.. May be next month.." What was it that was stopping me? My own mind block. Sometimes, there were really practical reasons as money constraints.

However, money wasn't ALWAYS the block.
Sometimes, it was the thought "What will others think If I do it this way or If at all, I do this?"
My very nice friend told me this sentence "People can think anything, you can't control their thinking. What you can control is your reaction to their thinking." I adopted this funda then onwards. But to be frank, before I understood this fact, I did lose many moments of my life thinking what will people think If I do this or say this or wear this.. etc..

I hear argument as "That's the society. People make the society so when you are part of society, you are influenced by their thinking. You are a social animal."
I tell you the solution - If you think that People won't accept what you are doing then go and ask this question to each individual whose thinking matters to you. Ask politely if your, taking this step, matters to them? I am little rude by saying this sentence but you can always take your gentle way to approach such people (People who matter to you). Ask them the reason for their reaction. Argue in a gentle manner to find out the logic in it. If it is logical, revisit your decision, but otherwise, this way, you will find that their support is in your favor.

For People who don't matter to you, do you care what they think about what you do?

So, STOP that thought which is blocking you from moving on. You always have a way out. Don't take it for granted. Life is really uncertain.

And there is lot of fun if something is uncertain. :-) Trust me, there is no meaning of an exam when you know your result already. There is no meaning in playing a game if you know your score already. So enjoy the uncertainty. There is excitement in each venture of unfold life parts.

[I made this post as the first part because I think I still have thoughts on the same topic to write and I don't want to make it an essay so better be it classified and short;-)]

Enjoy..
~KrupA

चाहत हो तुम मेरी

तेरे अरमानों को अपनी मंज़िल बना जाऊ,
ख्वाबों में तेरे अपनी खुशबु सजा जाऊ;
हर आरज़ू को तेरी, मैं अपना मकसद बना दू,
तेरे संग रहने को तो मैं आज खुद से भी जुदा हो जाऊ!!

बाहों में समाकर तेरी, आज चाहत में मचल जाऊ,
आँखों में डूबकर तेरी, मैं आज जिंदगी को भुला जाऊ;
चाहे कोई भी आवाज़ दे,
हर साँस की आड़ में, सिर्फ तेरी धड़कन सुन पाऊ!!

बादल बन कर आज कुछ इस तरह से बरस जाऊ,
की प्यार के सागर में तेरे संग डूब डूब जाऊ;
वफ़ा की चिंगारी से, प्यार का दीया इस तरह से जलाऊ,
की विश्वास की रौशनी में, खुद को तेरे पास ही पाऊ!!

तमन्ना है की तुज्से ये सब केह पाऊ!
'चाहत हो तुम मेरी' - काश! इतना भी बता पाऊ!!

This poem is one of those poems which I wrote few years back. I found it on a paper and before losing that paper in this e-world, I thought let me publish it here - may be a better place to store it.

I had written this poem on behalf of one of my friends. That friend liked someone so much and was going through the emotion that is so well described in the poem above.

I always say this - You don't need to go through the emotion for yourself to write about it. But you have to have that thing in you to FEEL the other person's/character's emotion in you so strong that the words start flowing.

Just feel it, it's a nice emotion to feel :-)

Love
~kRUPa

For Nova - Miss Neha Kumar

Not at every stage of life you get such friends. Have gotten a few ones who are just awesome!

Neha, You are one of those few dear.

कैसे करु मैं बयाँ- क्या पाया है तुज्से!
भले ही तू दूर थी हमेशा,
लेकिन हर घड़ी में तुजे साथ पाया है,
दिल ने माँगा ना था,
लेकिन सारा जहाँ पाया है तेरी दोस्ती में!

Neha is my friend since my late years of college life and after college we never got a chance to be at one place or work one place, but we are in touch as if we never were apart from each other.

The best part of our friendship is we have given rights to each other without any block, we can tease each other like anything and have fun.

It's like "Hey let's talk and then laugh.. and hey.. let's laugh again!"

I had written a testimonial for her long back, which you can read below -

As I am not on orkut - I had sent it in email -
About Nova
"If she likes you, you are the blessed person as she will take care of you completely. She is the most comfortable Pal I have ever met. You can play any joke on her and she will be the most sport...Never ever a killjoy.
Unlike any other open minded person, Neha is a totally emotional person. I do not mind her being emotional but sometimes I just feel too insecure for her as she can be affected by people's behavior where those 'people' need to be really close ones. Not to forget, she is a great elder sister where her younger sis is amazing too.

Neha's talent - oh.. what shall I say? I think when I understood the meaning of versatile in the dictionary, I related it to Neha. She is a very nice singer, dancer. She is really intelligent and a bright student. But one thing I am unhappy to share that I did not ever like her dressing style..("Motii.. I hope your dressing style is little elegant now") But still the way she carries herself is just awesome, you know the confidence in her body language.

I do not maintain relation with many people, but I am really glad to say that I truly cherish your friendship.

Wish you stay happy always..Be Loved always..."

~k RUPa

It's Again the CHOICE ~

It's Just a Phase! - But still you choose ~

Many of us pass through this phase in life when we feel that we have started liking someone. Someone really special!

You feel it but you deny it.

Sometimes people don't let you believe it.

Sometimes people (read Parents in many cases) don't allow you to go for it.

May be, You just fight against your own feeling.

You don't want to,

But you still let it go.

How do you say then, that if you are meant to get it you will get it ?

HOW?

You lost that chance that you had gotten. You lost that choice. As someone says - You always have a choice in any situation. I totally AGREE!

After loss of that choice, the phase goes, just like any other phase in life, leaving the imprints of nicest time ever. Leaving behind the possibility of being with the special someone for entire life.

I have talked with few friends, and when they explain me the reason for denial of that special feeling for various reasons - I, still, can not be convinced. I don't understand the reasoning. It generally sounds logical but it doesn't sound real. It never sounds as a right thing to happen in that right moment.

I don't know how to handle the case when you feel that special someone doesn't feel anything for you.
I really don't.

But I think one should never give up without talking the emotion out. It is important for you to stay open and communicative about your own feeling.

Take care!

~KrupA

May be it's a feeling before saying Bon Voyage

Sadness, that is flowing in my eyes,
Like the dream uncovered and unknown
Hard to catch, flying high in the sky;

I see the man from window;
Walks carrying the the loads
I thought I am the same;
Like him, all alone on the roads -

I ponder in blank;
If I could just catch the sight;

HE tells me not to lose,
I wonder! How & What do I choose;

Feeling of 'No-Return' is all around,
I have no voice, I can hear no sound;

It's all over!

What do you think I just wrote about? I do not know. I just let the words flow. If it's not ending, may be it is not meant to end.

Friendship Day Token ~

My Birthday is coming up on Sunday(5th Aug) and this year it happens to be a friendship day . I have lots of friends here who are so good by heart. I thought let me express my feelings in a poetic form. This one is for all my friends in California..

मौका फिर मिले ना मिले;
मुलाकात शायद फिर कभी ना हो;
पैगाम ये दिल का है -
धोखा ये शब्दो का नही ~

सुना था, इन्सान रूठ कर मान जाते है;
ऐसा लगा - इस एक साल में
खुदा भी रूठ कर मान गया;

खुशियो को गले लगाना सीख लीया,
खुद पर हँसना और हँसाना सीख लीया;

जब सोचा भी नही, तब साथ दिया;
दोस्ती शब्द को अर्थ तुमने दिया!

चाय के टेबल पे करी हज़ारों बातें,
कभी डांट खाई तो कभी मज़ाक उडाया;

हर दोस्त की अदा है अलग;
बन के याद, दिल में बस गए है सब.

Every moment - I felt I am living,
It's all of you,
It's all because of you,
I enjoy my world now,
Which includes you!

Thank you and enjoy! You ARE important to me :-)

~Love
KrupA

Powerful Quote I Say ~

I had heard many times, read it at many places that what you see is the reflection of you. But did not really understood it and hence never agreed to it.

Realized lately that whatever I find irritating in people around me, or whatever I feel angry at - is somehow part of me. For example, if someone asked me too many questions about some small thing, I was getting so irritated. But then the introspection made me see that "I" also do ask questions to many people about many things. They must be feeling irritated by me too.

I love if someone gives a nice smile at me and I found that Yes I do like to smile nicely at people so that I add happy feeling to someone's moment. Very Recently I received a compliment which said "I love the way you smile, life must be pretty good". Did you see the effect of a smile? It just emanated a positive vibration which did affect someone.

I love to see someone having positive approach about love and I am so sure that my heart is so passionate about the concept of love.

And many more things that I can go on describing......

I was already going through such thoughts and there I read something said by Gandhi -
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhiji took the approach of non-violence. Why? Because he wanted to see the world in peace, non-violence. Since that moment, the bell is continuously ringing in my mind with this sentence. I am reminding myself continuously to improve upon my negatives because I don't want to see them ever in the people around me. What More could I do? I can only try.

Changing the world is not my cup of tea. But this sentence does have power - (writing again)
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"

~KrupA

जब प्यार होता है

दिल में होता है कुछ ऐहसास,
उसकी पनाहों में मिलते है कई ख्वाब;

मोहब्बत की झंकार हर तरफ छाती है,
इश्क की इनायत दिल में घर कर जाती है;

प्यार का कोई झोंका सा आता है,
मन जैसे पगला जाता है;

उसकी निगाहे जैसे चेहरे को सेहलाती है,
दस्तक एक खुशियों के पैगाम का होता है;

जादू सा उसका हर शब्द होता है,
प्यार में इन्सान कुछ अलग सा होता है!

Beauty - in itself.. - The Nature

They Say Beauty of Nature is something that nothing can beat and I always agree with that. Every new experience with nature makes that perception even stronger.

Recently I visited Niagra Falls in Canada. I can not describe how beautiful it is? Just pasting some of many pictures of the Falls.

If got a chance ever, go feel it yourself.

`KrupA

Keep living each emotion in your heart~

ज़ेहन हां कहे या ना कहे,
जवान धड़कने फैसला सुनाया करती है;
प्यार के इकरार से कीतना भाग ले,
नीगाहे चूप रेह कर भी बयाँ कर जाती है!!

Typical situation when one heart likes the other but can not tell or chooses not to tell the other person about the feelings. How I wonder that situation is! How I wonder, where life just seems unfair. Trust me, life is never unfair except the fact that you can not see the fair part of it.

Enjoy the present. Whatever emotions your heart show up - Let it continue to do so. After all, emotions exist to be lived completely. Live it!

Love ~
kRUPa

Rerun

It's funny and it's shameful. It's really something that I do not know what to do about it but laugh at it and at myself and then take it lightly and forget about it.

At work, since last couple of days I have been doing some practice data loads and some practice runs for overall process of Master Data conversions. (Don't worry about any software jargons, it's not difficult to understand and I won't use the difficult ones because even I do not understand those ;-)) As you picked the right word that I have been doing a 'practice' load, there is a high possibility that we end up finding a need of changing something in code or in the process or in the source etc... The 'we' here includes me and my beloved Functional Analysts (You figured right that I am a System/Technical Analyst). Every new finding in the process involves testing, testing, YES testing and testing all over AGAIN.

I have ended up re-running the entire process again and again. By default my email goes to the Functional people saying 'I have made the required change and re-ran the process, please validate' Or 'The changes are moved to the testing environment, I will re-run the process and let you know when done' Or any such submissive statement. Ah-Uh!

One day one of my Functional Analysts, noticed the 'Re-run' word in many of my emails and came back with a giggling laughter and he told me that I remind him of 'Re-Run'. Initially I did not understand what he meant by that and then he went and came back with the TV show name. Check out the snap attached - HE IS RE-RUN..


Now he calls me -Re-Run. And those of you who know me, can definitely vouch that I look so darn opposite to Re-Run. (Fatso Re-run and thin-koo- KrupA) Gosh!! I was shocked when I saw this picture. But yeah, definitely that day was one of those days when he made my day by making me laugh so much and so natural.

If you would not like to be called as some comic character then do not use any particular word so consistently in front of people. You never know when you will be called as -Rerun. Trust me people, today when I was running the process and even after all the practice when it happened that I had to re-run, I was like UHH!!!!!! Why he named me Re-run? :D It's lot of fun though :-)

Enjoy...
~KrupA

The QUEST

Few things are proven in this world and many are not. For the later kind, we derive our own comprehension and we see such millions of different perceptions. Here goes one such perception from my mind :-)

What a human seeks for? Answers! Answers to the questions which are on his mind all the times. A question against the existence of each and every thing. A question for his own existence!

This quest has continued years after years, one life after the other. ( This is also a question on one's mind that what happens after death? Is there a rebirth or is that the end? What Next?!!).. What happens when the man doesn't find the answer for some question? He has no choice but accepting someone else's perception. And that he is not ready to do. Because of the QUEST that drives him.

I believe there are answers for each and everything, may be there is a need to ask the 'Right' question to 'Right' people or look for them at 'Right' source. OR may be there is a need to open the heart and start building the faith in THE existence. Basically, two choices - Believe Or Keep searching. May be a middle way is a good option- believe partially and search more based on that belief ;-)

At the end of the day, in your quest, you MUST build some faith in the right direction. You should never reach a stage where you feel 'I am going nowhere.' Keep seeking for answers because after all, it's the question that drives you.

[I guess my today's post sounds like a dialogue from movie Matrix, but it's not :-) It may be influenced a little bit in the presentation but it is from my mind based on my experience]

!KrupA!

Listener Reloaded~ (he he he..)

I thought let me give an update about how my practice of reduced talking is going on. So here it is -

As I had mentioned in earlier post, some friends of mine mentioned that I talk a lot and I can not be the good listener. This was not something that I had to take too seriously but still I did. Do you know why? Because 'I' thought it's true.

First fews days were difficult when my mind was talking what I was not talking out from my mouth :-) But then as time passed by, I got that grip of identifying where I should talk & where I should not. And yeah, Now, I know what is that balance called.

I achieved my level of comfort in this change and now I talk with controlled manner. It's not that I am changed, or my persona has undergone any kind of make-over. But I can feel it within me that I am changed and I am satisfied with that. So 'I' am, I guess, done with the necessary steps and happy with that. :-)

So let's party! ;-) Thanks to my those friends who helped me identify such a bug in my system (ha ha ha...)

Love~
kRUPa

Think think..

When you don't know what to think,
Do not think.
When you know that what you are thinking - doesn't make sense,
Then do not think.
Don't you think this is a very stupid thinking without any thought involved in it?

A time pass thought for you to think that KrupA has gone crazy that she is writing anything. But do not think so because I am sure you don't know what to think at this point. Also if you're thinking that I am crazy then I think that doesn't make sense, so don't think.

;-) alright people.. no more thoughts on what to think and what not.

Mind over heart

I face a phase many times where my mind says 'A' and my heart says 'B'. Now it's not a problem to listen to 'B' if that sounds practical. But when it doesn't sound practical then go for 'A'.

hmm. this sounds very simple to do, doesn't it? Well, it's not simple always.
Generally, listening to heart is emotion driven and listening to mind is logic or fact driven. So when you see that emotions are of no value in the practicality then wake up and listen to 'A'. I am pretty sure that 'A' is really not what we want at that point of time, but trust me, when your emotions do not fit into real world, it's a wise choice not to go for 'B'.

However, I believe one should be able to define, what is practical and what is not, very clearly.
e.g. In one sided love relationship, you should accept that practically, that relation is not gonna work then just leave the other person free, set the other person free.
But in case of two-sided love relationship, you should go for your heart even if anyone in the world doesn't agree to your relationship. [This is just an example, I can find many more.. but this one suits the post title the most]

I miss that...

Fragrance that comes from the wet sand when it's the first rain of the season, is something that I am missing right now so desperately. I bet, No Best perfume of this world can beat that fragrance.

Such things sometimes make me feel so nostalgic that the songs like 'Ghar aaja pardesi, tera des bulaye re' - just add so much impact to that feeling.

Uff! I miss India.

Every region has its own identity and all together is also a great combination. All rituals, emotions, culture, folk dances and music - is just awesome. There are positive as well as negative points about so many things in this world and any country is not excluded from it. If I have one negative point in me, I should try whatever I can, to improve on it and turn it into positive. Not that I should keep saying bad about my negative point.

Anyway.. my point is not write about how people should think or not.

I just wanna say, I miss my home, miss my country, my culture, my people. (I know my language shows possession. But why not?) And some matters are better not understood or analyzed too profoundly.

Effect of time

Some times due to the stress that I choose to bear, It happens that entire day I stay with some state of mind and then ultimately with some fight within, I sleep. Stress may be defined as some kind of problem at work, or any personal issue with any of your friend or any tension related to any matter.

However, Next morning is fresh when I open my eyes. I do not feel anything but a nice freshness in everything. But in just few minutes when my mind wakes up, it starts playing with the time other than 'Now', i.e. Past events or anything else which had caused any kind of stress last day. Then I lose. That stress affects me at least in some way. If I choose to ignore it or if I find a solution for it then its effect is lesser until I sleep next day.

Basically, what I am trying to say here is - When mind is really asleep or when mind is not controlled by time or events associated with it, then I am totally fresh and happy but not otherwise. This is again in context of any stressful condition that I am walking with. It's not valid to say that I am not happy ever. Of course, I am happy many many times, but sometimes under mental stress, my state of mind is controlled by the factor other than me.

I do not like such situation Personally. I am now trying to accept that freshness that I feel first in morning and take it along, rather than let the mind play. When naturally I am happy, why should I let anything else take that control over and change that happy effect/mood? Trust me, natural reaction is to forget things and stay in the present but over the years, we develop this habit of re-living the time when we are not happy and keep that feeling inside.

I think this is precisely what The book 'The Power of Now' says - Stay in 'Now' and do not let psychological time take things over. (Find review about this book here.)

इस पल में जो जीया,
वही तो है मैने जीयाा;
इस पल को उस पल से जोड़ कर,
मैने पूरा जीवन सजा लीया!

बस तु इतना कर !

अपनी पलकों से आँसु मीटा दे;
देख! क्या खुबसूरत सवेरा आया है!

तु सोच मत उस रात के बारे मे;
वो अँधेरा राख बन चूका है;

तेरे अंदर के खुदा को तु पहचान,
भरी हुई आँखों से उसे नीराश मत कर;

प्यार भरा ये पुरा जहाँ तेरे सामने है,
इसकी बाँहों मे अपनी तमन्नाओ को सवार ले;

जादू की तरह हर मौसम बदलेगा,
तु बस अपने वीश्वास से आज को स्वीकार ले!


~kRUPa


[Please pardon the Hindi fonts out here ;) I am saying this because I know some of the letters are not displayed the way they should be!]

Listener

I recently got this compliment which says "I am a good talkative person" but this compliment doesn't end here, they say "I am not a good listener" and some people make it worse saying - "I CAN'T be a good listener". And HENCE I can't call it a compliment anymore because it's kinda pointing out my weakness at something.

बोलो.. ये भी कोई बात हुई? :( भला.!!! मैं भी क्या ज़्यादा बोलती हू? नही नही, आप ही बताओ

I am sure you are laughing at this now. :( I was thinking to prove that I am a good listener but for that, someone has to talk, right? I think some people just don't speak. They need people who can ask them something and then they can talk otherwise they themselves do not find any topic to talk. Is it my fault that I can make a person talk to me on phone for 1+ hour, who actually claims to be unable to talk much with people on phone? Now If I leave things as it is, those friends of mine will never call up.

I should do something, but what should I do? For now, I have decided to reduce talking. Let's see how it goes! If people feel better with this then may be I was taking them for granted to listen to me.